You know technology is part of your life because...

You know technology is part of your life because:

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

Who's Your Daddy?

Amazon is doing something cute for Father's Day. If you're unsure what to buy for your dad, compare him to one of these famous dads and vote for your favorite:

I like the write-up for Darth Vader:

People who think of Darth Vader as a father figure often have mixed feelings about their own fathers. You admire strong disciplinarians, yet you tend to rebel against authority. When growing up, you were probably distant from your own imperious father, perhaps cultivating a closer relationship with an aunt or uncle. You still may feel as if you've never really known your father, suspecting that he may be keeping important family secrets from you. This mystery that has always surrounded him leads you to second-guess his motives--you may wonder whether he's trying to steer you down the wrong path.

The suggested gifts are cute too. The Art of Parenting Twins and Woolite Dark Laundry Wash are among the suggestions.

Oh, and there's a hoax item too -- a land cruiser tank you can buy for a mere $19,999.95.

On The Lot

Wow, how could a reality show with such good backing suck so badly?

I really had high hopes for On The Lot. The premise of the Fox show is that 18 undiscovered directors will compete for a $1 million movie deal with Dreamworks pictures. The show is produced by Steven Spielberg and Mark Burnett. The judges are Gary Marshall, Carrie Fisher and a random director of the week.

But it’s bad!

There have been about four episodes so far and they’re down to the final 15 people. Over 12 thousand people supposedly submitted films, but I’m not very impressed by the quality of films that we’re being shown. I’m certain that 18 students from NYU or UCLA would put together better films. I also think 18 kids could be found on YouTube with films with more raw originality.

I’m disturbed at the weak subject matter. Between last week’s shorts and this week’s, we’ve seen a film about vomiting, two films about farting, one about giving birth (while refusing to get off a cell phone) and one about peeing and they were all boring and stupid. And it’s not adolescent boys making these films! Three of the films I mentioned were made by adult females.

I’m wondering what the problem is. Was there something wrong with the selection process? Did they choose photogenic people over creative people? Did they pick people who had worked in the industry before over truly raw talent?

I think Zach is the likely winner, since he has the edge with editing and post production special effects, but I wonder if the show will be canceled before it gets that far?

"Web site" baffles Internet terrorism trial judge

From Reuters:

LONDON (Reuters) - A British judge admitted on Wednesday he was struggling to cope with basic terms like "Web site" in the trial of three men accused of inciting terrorism via the Internet.

Judge Peter Openshaw broke into the questioning of a witness about a Web forum used by alleged Islamist radicals.

"The trouble is I don't understand the language. I don't really understand what a Web site is," he told a London court during the trial of three men charged under anti-terrorism laws.

Prosecutor Mark Ellison briefly set aside his questioning to explain the terms "Web site" and "forum." An exchange followed in which the 59-year-old judge acknowledged: "I haven't quite grasped the concepts."

Violent Islamist material posted on the Internet, including beheadings of Western hostages, is central to the case.

Concluding Wednesday's session and looking ahead to testimony Thursday by a computer expert, the judge told Ellison: "Will you ask him to keep it simple, we've got to start from basics."

Oh my God! How is this man qualified to judge this case?? Why doesn't he do the right thing and excuse himself from this trial?

Read more...

Militant 'Mickey Mouse' pulled off air

From Yahoo News:

RAMALLAH, West Bank - Hamas militants have suspended a TV program that featured a Mickey Mouse lookalike urging Palestinian children to fight Israel and work for global Islamic domination, the Palestinian information minister said Wednesday.

nformation Minister Mustafa Barghouti said the character — a giant black-and-white rodent with a high-pitched voice — represented a "mistaken approach" to the Palestinian struggle against Israeli occupation.

He said that the program was pulled from Hamas-affiliated Al Aqsa TV at his ministry's request and "placed under review."

The character, named "Farfour," or "butterfly," but unmistakably a copy of the Disney character, preached against the U.S. and Israel each Friday on the show called "Tomorrow's Pioneers."

Nuts!

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Diego "Chico" Corrales Dies in Motorcycle Accident

From Excite.com:

LAS VEGAS (AP) -Diego Corrales, who won titles in two weight classes and was involved in one of the most exciting fights in recent years, died in a motorcycle accident a few miles from the Las Vegas Strip. He was 29.

His promoter, Gary Shaw, said Corrales was driving his motorcycle at a high rate of speed when he ran into the back of a car Monday night. Shaw said Corrales, whose career had faltered the past two years, recently bought a racing motorcycle and apparently was riding it the time he was killed.

"He fought recklessly and he lived recklessly," Shaw said. "That was his style."

Las Vegas police spokesman Jose Montoya said the victim in the accident was wearing a helmet, and police were investigating if drugs or alcohol was involved.

Corrales, who fought most of his career at 130 pounds, was a big puncher best known for getting up after two 10th-round knockdowns to stop Jose Luis Castillo on May 7, 2005, in what the Boxing Writers Association of America and numerous boxing publications called the fight of the year.

Wow, I remember this guy. He was pretty good, up until he lost his first fight to Floyd Mayweather. That was a very memorable fight. Corrales looked like a favorite coming into that fight. He was taller, had a reach advantage and just looked bigger. But Mayweather kicked his ass to the point that Corrales' stepfather, who was working his corner literally threw in the towel to stop the ass-whipping. Corrales burst into tears and cursed at him, but his stepfather shook his head, hugged him and said he didn't want him to get hurt. I've never forgotten that fight.

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He's Baaaaaack!

Newly signed New York Yankees starting pitcher Roger Clemens speaks at a news conference at Yankee Stadium in New York May 6, 2007. The New York Yankees have signed seven-times Cy Young Award winner Clemens to a minor-league contract, the American League club announced on Sunday. (Jeff Zelevansky/Reuters)

Golden Fraud

I'm so glad I didn't pay to see this fight!

They almost had me. On Saturday I watched a marathon of the reality TV series / pay-per-view promo De La Hoya / Mayweather 24/7, and, hey, it was pretty damn good. I think we can be sure of seeing similar promo "documentaries" whenever another fight comes up that needs the ducats.

The one thing that bothered me is that Mayweather agreed to make himself look bad to promote the fight. The whole series made Oscar look like a saint.

Uh, he has three out of wedlock kids and he had to pay off a girl who accused him of raping her at his condo when she was 15. Big family man.

His carefully crafted image makes me sick, which is why I'm always happy when his ass gets beat. He has a tendency to lose the high-profile fights, too. Trinidad, Hopkins, Moseley. And now Mayweather.

I hope none of you bet on this one...

(Almost) Perfect

New York Yankees’ Chien-Ming Wang delivers against the Seattle Mariners during the first inning in Major League Baseball action Saturday, May 5, 2007 at Yankee Stadium in New York. (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson)

Chien-Ming Wang!

Man, he threw down. Remember back in the day when Andy was the stopper and had this incredible winning percentage after a Yankees loss? We’ll that’s Chien-Ming Wang’s role now. Not only was he pitching a shutout, only was he throwing a no-hitter, he had a perfect game going with 5 outs to go!

Again, like with Hughes, it was not to be. At least he didn’t get hurt, except for his feelings, perhaps. The perfect game, no-hitter and shutout were broken up with one swing of the bat by Ben Broussard. It was a hell of a game, nonetheless.

Is a healthy Chien-Ming Wang, a healthy Mussina and a healthy Pettitte enough to win a World Series? My mind says no, but…

Oh, yeah, the final score was 8-1.

From the people who brought you NaNoWriMo...

From the people who brought you NaNoWriMo, comes Script Frenzy:

Script Frenzy is an international writing event in which participants attempt the creatively daring feat of writing an original, full-length screenplay—or stage play—in a single month. Spurred by a wild deadline and buoyed by a community of countless other writers, Script Frenzy participants can't be bothered with self-doubt—or editing. They're too busy writing by the seat of their pants, typing out beautiful, flawed stories that no one else could have dreamt up.

As part of a donation-funded nonprofit, Script Frenzy charges no fee to participate; there are also no valuable prizes awarded or "best" scripts singled out. Every writer who completes the goal of 20,000 words is victorious and awe-inspiring and will get a Script Frenzy Winner's Certificate and web icon proclaiming this fact. Even those who fall short of the word goal will be applauded for making a heroic attempt. Really, you have nothing to lose—except that nagging feeling that there's a script inside you that may never get out.

The 5 Basic Rules of Script Frenzy

1. To be crowned an official Script Frenzy winner, you must write a script of at least 20,000 words and verify this word count on ScriptFrenzy.org.
2. You may write individually or in teams of two. Writer teams will have a 20,000 total word goal for their single co-written script.
3. Script writing may begin no earlier than 12:00:01 AM on June 1 and must cease no later than 11:59:59 PM on June 30, local time.
4. You may write either a screenplay or a stage play.
5. You must, at some point, have ridiculous amounts of fun.

Are you tempted?

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Number 13

There was an interesting rundown of A-Rod's April stats on ESPN on Sunday. It's still hard to warm up to this guy after he's let the team down in the post season every year, however, these numbers were impressive:

1 Grand Slam
2 Walk-off home runs
3 Multi-home run games
4 [His spot in the order]
5 Home runs when the Yankees were trailing
6 Go-ahead home runs
7 Home runs at home (and 7 on the road)
8 Two-run home runs
9 Home runs with 2 outs
10 Home runs to left field
11 Home runs with runners on
12 Home runs vs. right-handed pitchers
13 [His number]
14 Home runs in April, tying Albert Pujols' record set in 2006.


Hey, Alex -- **PLEASE** repeat this performance in October, okay?

Phil Hughes is Throwing a No-Hitter

Can it happen?? Hughes is no-hitting the Rangers through 5 and two thirds innings.

UPDATE 1: No hitter through six!

UPDATE 2: Noooooo! Hughes has been pulled after one out in the seventh. He pulled his hamstring pitching to Mark Texiera!! Shit! What more can happen to this staff?

I knew it...

I had a hunch that the person in Sylar's painting from last week was really Sylar, not Nathan. It was too demonic a depiction. Nathan has some sleazy ways, but he tends more towards weak morals than outright evil.

BTW, Mohinder really is a brick, isn't he? He was working for Sylar who was masquerading as Nathan for five years and didn't catch on?

I wasn't too impressed with last night's episode of Heroes. I could do without the blatant rip-offs of all too familiar X-Men plots. Hopefully we'll get back on track next week.

Sumo Babies

Sumo baby : University student sumo wrestlers attempt to make babies cry during the "Baby-cry Sumo," an annual contest which is supposed to bring good health, at Tokyo's Sensoji temple in Tokyo.(AFP/Toshifumi Kitamura)

Weird. Sounds kinda mean, too.

Last Night on "Heroes"

The seven-week hiatus was excruciating, but last night's episode was pretty meaty.

Hiro met up with his future self. Not sure where that's going.

Niki/Jessica continues to work for Linderman, despite the fact that D.L. threatens to take Micah from her.

Linderman wants Micah to do something for him. I bet he wants the kid to mess with electronic voting machines and swing the election to Nathan.

Peter manages to survive his second encounter with Sylar, but only because he has Claire's super healing ability. Mohinder takes Peter's "body" back to his family and Claire pulls a huge shard of glass out of his brain, which revives him.

Nathan listens to Linderman's spiel about saving the world and buys into his plan. The plan is evidently to rig the election, let most of New York get blown up by an exploding Peter, and then position Nathan as some savior that's going to "lead people out of darkness."

Claire gets to know her granny, who is a really calculating old woman. Granny Petrelli showed no emotion when Mohinder showed up with Peter's body. She actually suggested to Nathan that they hide Peter's body until after the election. Is she really that cold, or did she know that Peter wasn't dead?

Mohinder. Dude, what is your problem?? He underestimated Sylar, then he got jacked up and stuck on the ceiling. But then Peter shows up and Mohinder manages to knock Sylar out... and he leaves Sylar alive and escapes with Peter's body!! Is he insane or what? At the very least if he was unable to kill him for personal moral reasons he should've, I dunno, broken both his legs, tied him up, put the IV back in him... SOMETHING! Jeez!

Matt. Matt is the butt monkey of the show. Luckily, Mr. Benett told him exactly what to do to escape from Primatech. Now we have the unlikely trio of Matt, Mr. Benett and Ted, the radioactive guy.

Last but not least, Isaac. I couldn't believe Isaac gave himself up like that and literally laid back and let Sylar cut his head open in a pseudo crucifixion scene. That pissed me off. I have to assume that something about having Isaac's power will have a negative impact on Sylar, but I hated that. He went out soft.

I guessing the comic book pages and sketchbook Isaac gave to the Asian guy moments before Sylar showed up has some clues the remaining heroes will use to kill Sylar.

Questions: Where's Mrs. Bennet? Where's Mr. Muggles? What happened to the Haitian?

Alec Baldwin Gets Nasty with Daughter

Whoa! TMZ.com broke an ugly tirade from Alec Baldwin directed at his 11-year-old daughter. He's going through a seriously nasty divorce from Kim Bassinger and it looks like he's taking it out on his daughter.

From TMZ:

An enraged Alec Baldwin unleashed a volcanic tirade of threats and insults on his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, calling her a "thoughtless little pig," and bashing her mother Kim Basinger -- and TMZ has obtained the whole thing unfiltered and raw. And we've learned, a family law judge was so alarmed after hearing the tape, she has temporarily barred Baldwin from having any contact with his child.

After Ireland failed to answer her father's scheduled phone call from New York on April 11, Alec went berserk on her voice mail, saying "Once again, I have made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone," adding, "you have insulted me for the last time."

Switching his train of thought, Baldwin then exercised his incredible parenting skills and took a shot at his ex-wife, declaring, "I don't give a damn that you're 12-years-old or 11-years-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do." The irate Baldwin went on to say, "You've made me feel like s**t" and threatened to "straighten your ass out."

"This crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother," screamed Baldwin, "and you do it to me constantly over and over again."

Before hanging up, Baldwin warned the child, "You better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me."

Listen to the mp3.

Nasty! I feel threatened, and he ain't talking to me.

Read more...

The Walk-off: Part Deux

New York Yankees Alex Rodriguez, right, celebrates with teammates and coaches after hitting a two-out, walk-off, three-run home run in the Yankees 8-6 win over the Cleveland Indians in their baseball game at Yankee Stadium in New York, Thursday, April 19, 2007. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

Who Was Seung-Hui Cho?

Today the tragic and senseless Virginia Tech massacre got even stranger. NBC news in New York received a package sent to them by the shooter, Seung-Hui Cho, after the dorm shooting but before the engineering building shootings.

From the L.A. Times:

Shortly before Seung-hui Cho gunned down 30 people in Norris Hall, the Virginia Tech senior apparently mailed a large package to NBC News containing rambling messages about his anger at the wealthy and alluding to the slaughter that was about to take place.

"You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option," Cho said in one of the QuickTime videos included in the package, in which he compared himself to Jesus and the two shooters at Columbine High School.

NBC received the package today and broadcast excerpts of the videos this evening on "NBC Nightly News With Brian Williams."

The package also contained more than two dozen photos of the Cho, including 11 of him aggressively thrusting pistols at the camera. Cho, 23, did not explain his exact motives for the killings, but expressed rage and resentment in an 1,800-word, profanity-laced diatribe that Williams described as a "multimedia manifesto."

This guy was totally in his own world. I'm still waiting to hear something from his family, or someone who actually grew up with him. There must've been somebody.

I also find it interesting that race hasn't been raised in this case except for NBC's Clint Van Zandt, who hinted (with no evidence) on MSNBC on Monday that Cho's shooting spree may have been an "honor killing" of some kind because he may have been spurned by a woman and "needed to save face." If an alienated black student had shot 32 people, I have no doubt that the massacre would've been painted as a bias incident, and not a mental health incident.

While we're on the mental health issue, I like how in Virginia when one fills out an application for a gun permit, they ask you if you've ever been diagnosed with a mental disorder and they take your word for it when you say no. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard of.

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Minnesota's Muslim cab drivers face crackdown

From Reuters:

MINNEAPOLIS (Reuters) - Muslim cab drivers at Minnesota's biggest airport will face new penalties including a two-year revocation of their taxi permits if they refuse to give rides to travelers carrying liquor or accompanied by dogs, the board overseeing operations ruled Monday.

Gosh, no one in New York has ever denied me a ride when I'm trashed and I have my pooch with me. These Minnesotans are so unreasonable.

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32 Killed in Massacre at Virginia Tech

The Waco Siege ended in April. The Oklahoma City bombing happened in April. Columbine happened in April. Now this.

What is it about April? Specifically the third week of April?