Who's Your Daddy?

Amazon is doing something cute for Father's Day. If you're unsure what to buy for your dad, compare him to one of these famous dads and vote for your favorite:

I like the write-up for Darth Vader:

People who think of Darth Vader as a father figure often have mixed feelings about their own fathers. You admire strong disciplinarians, yet you tend to rebel against authority. When growing up, you were probably distant from your own imperious father, perhaps cultivating a closer relationship with an aunt or uncle. You still may feel as if you've never really known your father, suspecting that he may be keeping important family secrets from you. This mystery that has always surrounded him leads you to second-guess his motives--you may wonder whether he's trying to steer you down the wrong path.

The suggested gifts are cute too. The Art of Parenting Twins and Woolite Dark Laundry Wash are among the suggestions.

Oh, and there's a hoax item too -- a land cruiser tank you can buy for a mere $19,999.95.

"Mail" The Force Be With You

The U.S. Postal Services is helping celebrate the 30th anniversary of Star Wars by unveiling R2D2 mailboxes.

They're so darn cute! People are gonna deface them or steal them. You know this.

Read more...

Return to Star Wars Galaxies

About a week ago I got an email from my good friends at Sony Online. It seems they want me back in the online game Star Wars Galaxies.

I quit the game about a year ago, but in truth I hadn't played for a good six months or more before that. I really loved that game when I first started. I've always sucked at video games, but this was the perfect game for me. It was structured in such a way that you didn't need to be "twitchy" to enjoy it. It wasn't all about having a fast trigger finger and looting corpses. There was many a night in which I never fired a weapon. Instead I often spent hours surveying the land for raw materials, setting up harvesters, crafting clothes, food and medicines and selling my wares in the public bazaar. I really enjoyed that.

Sometimes I just liked to go sightseeing. You got badges for visiting famous sites, so I visited Ben Kenobi's house, the Lars homestead, the escape pod of R2 and 3PO, etc.

And when I did feel like fighting, that was fun too. One of my favorite spots was a place nicknamed Creature Village, located on a Corellian moon. I would go out there either solo or with a few buds and we'd take up sniper positions and tag the giant sludge panthers that roamed the abandoned city's streets. On a good night you could quickly level up in marksmanship, medical and brawling skills.

Ah, the good old days.

Then they fucked it up.

They decided to change the combat system. Why? I don't know. Suddenly, creatures I could kill solo a week before -- like a bantha -- were kicking my ass. My armor no longer offered the same protection. I was forced to drop some skills. And so on. People started grumbling, then people started leaving. My friends dropped off one by one.Sony tried to appease people by making it easier to be a Jedi, but that unbalanced the game. Not to mention that in a game set in the Imperial era, it made to freaking sense to have Jedi and padawans openly chilling in cantinas or chopping people down in the street.

I eventually quit, really for economic reasons, both in the game and out. $16 a month wasn't really a lot, but it certainly could be used elsewhere, especially since months would go by without me logging on. In the game, the economy was haywire. I couldn't make a living selling clothes, weapons and armor anymore through the bazaar and finding a place to set up a store was tough. Withing the first two months of the game coming online, the main cities were ringed with a perimeter of fancy player-built malls. Since I was primarily a street vendor, I was shut out. I thought about cutting a deal with some guys to put up a vending machine in their mall, but I couldn't deal with the politics of joining a guild. Let me tell you, I learned more about economics through SWG than I ever did in any class.

So, now Sony wants me back. When I quit they said that my characters would be deleted after 90 days, but they lied. The characters are still there. They're offering me 21 days free. What the hell -- I'll do it. I always regretted not taking more screen captures of the nice scenery, so at the very least, I'll do that.

I wonder if my house on Dantooine is still there or if it fell into disrepair and was condemned?

We'll see.

BTW, I hate to admit it, but I'm psyched about the Lord of The Rings Online game debuting in April. Yes, I'm sure I'll regret that one too.

All Star Wars, All The Time

The evil bastards at Cinemax were showing all six Star Wars movies back to back to back to, well, you get the picture, all weekend. And they're gonna continue showing the movies in story order and release date order through December.

Mustn't... black... out... ARGGGH!

View schedule here.

Vader Sessions (Episode 2)

I'm testing the YouTube "Post to Blog" function.

Vader Sessions

HILARIOUS!

Someone took scenes from Star Wars: A New Hope and replaced Vader’s dialogue with other dialogue by James Earl Jones from such movies as Claudine and The Great White Hope.

What Star Wars Jedi or Sith are you?

You scored as Mace Windu. You are most like Mace Windu. A celebrated Jedi master known for his unique combination of wisdom, temperance and foresight. You prefer the life of a scholar yet will charge into battle should the need arise. You created and utilize the Vaapad form for lightsaber combat. It combines the usage of The Force for acrobatic speed and precision found in Ataru, the defensive to offensive channel found in Shien/Djem So and a concentration of emotion often seen as a sign for falling to The Dark Side. You eventually are betrayed by Anakin Skywalker and are killed by Darth Sidious. Mace Windu 86% Obi-Wan Kenobi (Post Death of Qui-Gon Jinn) 82% Anakin Skywalker 71% Qui-Gon Jinn 71% Luke Skywalker 71% Yoda 68% Obi-Wan Kenobi (Pre Death of Qui-Gon Jinn) 61% Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus 57% Darth Revan 50% Darth Sidious 46% Darth Vader 43% Bastila Shan 43% Darth Maul 39% Exar Kun 21% What Star Wars Jedi or Sith character is most like your personality? created with QuizFarm.com

---

Not a big surprise. I came out as Mace on some other test I took a year ago, so it seems consistent.

Star Wars Fan Film Awards

July 5th is the last chance to vote on this year’s batch of amateur fan films hosted at Atom Films. Although these are films made by non-professionals, many of them in the past have been quite good. It’s great that hobbyists can now do in their home what it took a small army of people to do back in 1977.

These are the finalists:

• Pimp My Ship Up: Boba Fett gets a makeover for Slave I. I found it a little slow. The highlight of the short was the Anakin Dynamite cartoon commercial. Very cute.
  

• Pitching Lucas: Studio heads try to convince George to incorporate their ideas into the next Star Wars movie. Really good costumes and special effects. The guy playing Lucas looked a lot like him too.
  

• Sith’d: A Sith lord plays a prank on a Jedi. Not very imaginative, but good makeup and costumes.
  

• Tebok the Ewok: An animated piece featuring two Ewoks stalking stormtroopers on Endor. Cute drawing style.
  

• Blue Milk: A young princess Leia makes a commercial for her favorite brand of milk. Cute kid.
  

• Confessions: Princess Leia tells us why she doesn’t like Han. Kinda boring.
  

• The Dating Show: Han has to choose from three princesses, a la The Dating Game.
  

• Han Shoots First: Spoof of the controversy over how Lucas changed the Greedo/Han confrontation in the special edition of Episode IV, then changed it back again.
  

• Lab 1138: British scientists invent the lightsaber, but suffer some mishaps.
  

• Memoirs of a Padawan: A fan reuses old footage shot by his father and gives it the MasterCard “priceless” treatment.

I voted for Pitching Lucas. Go here to cast your vote!

Be sure to check out past winners such as:

• Anakin Dynamite (2005)


• Pink Five Strikes Back (2004)


• Trooper Clerks (2003)


• Star Wars Gangsta Rap (2002)

Putting Star Wars to the MythBusters Test

For anyone who’s ever pondered the science of Star Wars, there’s an article on the official Star Wars site in which the MythBusters guys from Discovery channel tackle the following questions:

Can you survive overnight in a blizzard by gutting a dead animal and getting into its carcass?
"It would have to be a pretty big animal, but have you ever smelled the insides of a dead animal?" Belleci asks. "I think I'd rather freeze to death."

Can electricity make your skeleton visible from the outside?
"Only if you have a sufficient midi-chlorian concentration," Imahara smiles. "I'm convinced they're bioluminescent."
"I wish!" Savage says. "But I think you need a bit of the Force as well --preferably the dark side."

Could you drive a Podracer at 900 mph or more without a windshield or face mask?
"No way would that be possible!" Savage says.
"Just don't spit," Belleci jokes.

Could you pilot a submarine through a planet's core?
"If it were possible to have a water core at the center of a planet, then perhaps, but the pressures would be significant," Imahara explains. "That would have to be some submarine."
"Would the inside of a planet be water?" Savage asks. "I don't think so."

Could you survive a 50-foot fall into a snow bank like Luke Skywalker did?
"It's plausible, depending on the exact conditions," Imahara explains. "You could survive, but you'd be pretty badly hurt. Let's just say you probably wouldn't be jumping up on a tauntaun and riding to the next outpost, if you know what I mean."
"Actually, a couple of people have survived falls from thousands of feet into snow banks," Savage says. "So, yes."

Read more...

Episode III DVD: Special Features

I decided to start my exploration of the DVD with disk 2, the "Special Features" disk. The disk contains six deleted scenes, the teasers, trailers and TV spots, theatrical posters from various countries, an Xbox demo, stills, a music video and various documentaries.

Tonight I watched the six deleted scenes and "Within a Minute," an exhaustive documentary detailing the tremendous effort it took to create the duel on Mustafar. Ironically, when all was said and done, for me that duel still fell short of both the Vader vs. Luke match in Episode V and the Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon vs. Darth Maul fight in Episode I. It was too short, not to mention the fact that the lava and the lighting got in the way of appreciating the swordsmanship.

I'm always curious about the choices made in removing certain scenes from movies. On both the Episode I and Episode II DVDs there were scenes cut that would have made both movies just a little better. In Episode I a scene in which young Anakin gets in a fistfight with a young Greedo was cut and I feel that it was important to show that even at age nine Anakin had aggressive tendencies. In Episode II, they cut one scene where you get to see Padmé’s family and another scene in which Padmé shows Anakin holograms from her early days in politics. Both of these scenes would have served to flesh out Padmé’s backstory.

The scenes deleted from Episode III aren't on the level of the ones I mentioned above, but at least two of them would've provided a good transition into Episode IV. Both scenes, one set in Bail Organa's office and another in Padmé’s apartment, serve to establish Padmé as one of the founding members of what would become the Rebel Alliance.

It's interesting to note that the Rebel Alliance was formed by two black men, a Hispanic man and four women. Not one white guy. Yet when you look at the awards ceremony at the end of Episode IV, the Rebel Alliance twenty years later consists of nothing but young white men and a lone white female, Princess Leia. Non-humans, humans of color and women of any type need not apply to help rid the galaxy of evil.

I wonder what the hell happened in that timespan?

Of course, by the time you get to Episode VI, another white woman appears (Mon Mothma) and the Mon Calamari come out of nowhere and save everyone’s asses by supplying the ships and the tactical expertise needed to assault Death Star II.

These are the problems you run into when you film things out of sequence.

Crocheted Yoda Ears

Some chick with nothing better to do crocheted some Yoda ears for her baby for Halloween. Too funny.

Sketchy instructions are here if you want to make 'em yourself.

Found through Boing Boing.

Shanghai Bootleg

Jeremy from Shanghai picked up a bootleg Revenge of The Sith DVD and discovered that the dialogue had been translated from English to Chinese back to English, with results that are too ridiculous for words. It's kinda Yoda, kinda Jar-Jar.

Some examples:

Right off the bat, the names are wack:

Anakin: "Gold," "Great hopeless situation warrior"
Obi-Wan: "Ratio the tile"
The Emperor: "West Leader"
The Jedi: "The hopeless situation elder," "The Presbyterian Church"

[Note: I don't think that calling the Emperor "West Leader" and the Jedi the "Presbyterian Church" was an innocent mistranslation, do you?]

=== Scene in Padme's penthouse ===

Padme: "Annie, I want to have our baby back home on Naboo. We could go to the lake country where no one would know. Where we would be safe. I could go early and fix up the baby's room. I know the perfect spot, right by the gardens."

Chinese to English translation: "I living the child's time you must at home. Make the home a little bit more safe. I can breakfast for the new house that baby tidy up it. It has a great father. A great hopeless situation warrior."

Anakin: "You are so beautiful!"
("The beauty that you are like this")

Padme: "It's only because i'm so in love."
("I let me become the beauty to your love.")

Anakin: "No, it's because i'm so in love with you."
("Not, I love you love deeper.")

Padme: "So love has blinded you?"
("Your meaning is a love to tie up you.")

Anakin: "That's not exactly what i meant."
("That is not my meaning.")

Padme: "That's probably true."
("At least I say to half.")

Read more



Made by the church?? Is that like when you're "made" by the Mafia?

More Details About Star Wars in 3D And TV Series

From FlixnJoystix.com:

Rick McCallum, co-producer of the Star Wars prequel trilogy, had this to say about the upcoming TV series:

...McCallum confirmed that the TV series (and future DVD sets) will take place during the 20-year time period between EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH and EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE. He also said the show would reveal how certain characters ended up together, he didn’t get into specifics about which characters though. He might’ve been talking about Han and Chewie or Jabba the Hutt and Boba Fett, but at this point its all speculation. Previous reports indicated the TV series would follow the exploits of lesser-known characters in the STAR WARS universe, so only time will tell on the validity of this bit of news. Finally, McCallum explained that the TV series would chronicle the younger years of Luke Skywalker. The plan is for the show to start production next year (after Lucas finishes his work on the new INDIANA JONES flick) and will have 100 hours of material produced. No details about what network the show will call home, or if it would be a syndicated series (ala STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION and BABYLON 5).

About the next rerelease of the movies... Dude, 3D?

Jeez.

Anyway, if the TV series has the heart of the Clone Wars cartoons, I'm psyched. There are a lot of good stories that can take place in the gap between Episodes III and IV. Obviously they can show the early years of the Rebel Alliance. They can show Vader tracking down leads on surviving Jedi. They can show Han and Lando as teens or twenty-somethings getting into trouble. They can show cute parallel stories about Luke and Leia growing up. They can show Obi-Wan continuing to act covertly as a Jedi. And the ass-clowns who like Boba Fett can have him too.

But they can really, really eff this up.

How it was supposed to go down

Obviously, the prequels were nothing like what I imagined back when I first saw the OT, but it’s getting harder to remember what I first imagined. I should’ve written it down. Actually, I know did write it down – at least I did so re: my speculations about Return of the Jedi back in 1980 after having seen TESB – but when ROTJ came out I threw it away!

Duh!

I think I was wrong about pretty much everything except that I knew Han would be rescued. No-brainer there. But I did not foresee Death Star II, and I did not guess that Vader would “redeem” himself and turn to the Light. I also thought that “the other” was going to turn out to be Boba Fett, who was going to be not only a Jedi, but Luke’s mom in disguise.

Okay, that’s pretty freaking ridiculous, considering that I knew it was a man under that costume, but I think I read that theory in Starlog and they seemed to know shit.

In my version, Luke and his mom were going to team up and take out Vader and Palpatine. Maybe the parents were going to kill each other. Who knows? I can’t remember. I didn’t foresee the final ground war involving furry primitives either. If anything, I would’ve assumed that the Rebels last stand would’ve involved storming the imperial homeworld, Coruscant. Instead of Ewoks chucking spears at inept stormtroopers on an inconsequential moon in the Rim, I would’ve imagined ordinary citizens pushed to the edge finding the courage to side with the Rebels and storm the palace.

Viva la gente!

Hoo boy! Was I wrong!

So, I got to thinking, when I first heard that the prequels were finally going to be made, what did I assume the movies would depict about the rise of Vader? What did I assume about Obi-Wan? Did I have the presence of mind to write this down, you ask? Hell no!

Duh!

But since it was not that long ago, I can kinda remember that I had the following assumptions about what Anakin Skywalker’s background was gonna be like and how the story was going to play out. Based largely on Ben’s dialogue from Episode IV and VI and Yoda’s dialogue from Episode V, I thought a lot was a given.

I correctly assumed that:

• Anakin was from Tatooine.
• Luke’s mom was going to be something like Princess Leia.
• Anakin displayed Force powers from a young age.
• Anakin and Obi-Wan would clash over the twins’ mom. True, but not the way I imagined it. I assumed they’d clash because of a love triangle.
• Young Obi-Wan would be somewhat arrogant. True, but not the way I imagined it. It’s almost a passive arrogance.

But I was totally wrong about everything else! I assumed that:

• Anakin grew up with Owen.
• Anakin would have a calculating, methodical personality, and possibly be a ladies man.
• Anakin would have “warning sign” bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling or cruelty to animals. False, but fun to think about!
• Anakin would be well-liked by other Jedi.
• Alderaan would figure prominently in the prequels. False. Naboo was the substitute for Alderaan.
• Corellia would figure prominently in the prequels. False. What bullshit!
• Anakin was already an adult, or at least in his late teens, when he met Obi-Wan.
• Anakin was a civilian who got involved in the Clone Wars.
• Anakin was a space pilot, but he also pitched in to help Owen with the moisture farm.
• Anakin was possibly part of a planetary militia and he came to the attention of General Kenobi because of his piloting skills and bravery.
• The clones of the Clone Wars were the bad guys menacing the Republic.
• The Clone Wars was an “idealistic crusade” that Obi-Wan and Anakin volunteered for, but had no true stake in.
• Obi-Wan was a military advisor to Bail Organa.
• Obi-Wan and Anakin were close friends who shared everything.
• Obi-Wan and Anakin were approximately the same age.
• Obi-Wan taught Anakin the ways of the Force without Yoda’s knowledge or permission.
• Anakin went to the Dark Side because it was the easiest way for him to use the Force due to his unorthodox (and late) training.
• Anakin and the twins’ mom weren’t actually married. False. How silly of me! No way could George have let Luke and Leia be bastards!
• The twins’ mom left Anakin, fled to Alderaan with Leia and married Bail Organa. She died not long after.
• Anakin ran off to face the Emperor before he was fully trained and was defeated, converted and turned loose on the Jedi.
• Anakin lost a duel with Obi-Wan and as he lay dying, he asked Obi-Wan to give his son his lightsaber. False. This would’ve been a big plot hole.
• Anakin “died” (i.e. his heart stopped or was he was, ahem, brain dead) after facing Obi-Wan, but the Emperor used his Sith powers to reanimate him.

Hoo boy! Was I wrong!

Attack of The Clones: Infinities (2)

Picking up where I'd left off the other day with the Infinities alternate prequel stories...

Most of the premises I put forth are hard to generate storylines from, but the following one gets Owen in the mix and relates well to the Episode IV.

What if Anakin had resigned from the Jedi Order after Shmi’s death and had stayed on Tatooine with the Lars family?

• Anakin tries arrives too late to rescue Shmi from the sandpeople.
• Anakin massacres the sandpeople.
• Anakin later relays Obi-Wan’s message to the Jedi Council.
• Mace tells Anakin to stay on Tatooine.
• Padme urges Anakin to go rescue Obi-Wan.
• Guilt over the massacre of the sandpeople makes Anakin obey Mace’s order.
• Padme goes to Geonosis to bargain with Dooku and save Obi-Wan.
• Back on Tatooine, Anakin is comforted by being with the Lars family.
• Anakin decides to quit the Jedi Order and tries helping with the moisture farm.
• After Geonosis, Obi-Wan visits Anakin and lets him know that he can rejoin the Jedi any time he wants to.
• Anakin becomes unsure of his decision to quit when he hears from Obi-Wan how many Jedi died on Geonosis.
• The Clone Wars start. Eventually Naboo is threatened.
• Hearing of this, Anakin resolves to rejoin the Jedi and contacts Obi-Wan.
• Owen tries to talk Anakin out of it, but fails, leaving the former with a lasting bad impression of Obi-Wan.
• Anakin’s Force skills are rusty and he finds he has to dip into the Dark Side to come close to the proficiency he’d once had – with predictable results.

The Return of Meco

Those of us who were around in the 70's will no doubt recall that one of the first spin-offs of Star Wars was the disco version of the theme song by Meco. I have this record (it's probably worth something on eBay!) and though I'm absolutely horrified by this song now, I thought it was the shit back then.

So guess what? Meco's back. I got an email today from Sony for their Acid music production software and they threw in the following tidbit:

In 1977, Meco Monardo produced the biggest-selling instrumental pop single in the history of the record business - Meco's "Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band." The disco version of the movie theme effortlessly moved to number 1, outselling the official theme by the London Symphony Orchestra in the process. It is the only instrumental single to ever receive the RIAA Platinum award (selling 2 million copies). Thereafter, Meco became something of a specialist in movie themes, finding success with adaptations of the themes from movies such as Close Encounters of the Third Kind, The Wizard of Oz, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi.

Meco's newest CD is entitled Music Inspired by Star Wars and unlike his previous Star Wars recordings, seven of the ten new songs contain vocals. Nearly all of the music for Music Inspired by Star Wars was created and mixed using ACID Pro software. "Except for the vocals and Peter Frank's guitar solo, there were no live instruments nor any MIDI used in the recording," says Meco.

Out of curiousity I went to Amazon and I cracked up at the names of some of the cuts on his album:

I Am Your Father
You Are Reckless
Boogie Wookiee

Etc.

All I can say is, "Craptacular!"

Attack of The Clones: Infinities

Picking up where I left off back on the 11th with Prequel Infinities. As you recall, the idea is to change one major thing, but end up with the same result -- Anakin becomes Darth Vader.

Attack of The Clones:

• What if either assassination attempt on Padme (the bombing or the insects) had been successful?
• What if Anakin had reached his mom in time to save her life?
• What if, despite the death of his mother, Anakin hadn’t massacred the sandpeople?
• What if Obi-Wan had been killed by Jango Fett on Kamino?
• What if Mace, Anakin, Obi-Wan or Yoda had killed Dooku on Geonosis?
• What if Dooku had killed Obi-Wan or Yoda on Geonosis?
• What if Padme had remained firm in her initial rejection of Anakin and they did not ultimately elope on Naboo?
• What if the Jedi Council had sent Anakin to Kamino to search for the assassin and had sent Obi-Wan to Naboo with Padme -- and the latter two fell in love?
• What if Anakin had resigned from the Jedi Order after Shmi’s death and had stayed on Tatooine with the Lars family?
• What if Anakin had resigned from the Jedi Order after Shmi’s death and had returned to Naboo to marry Padme?
• What if Obi-Wan had accepted Dooku’s offer and had joined him against Palpatine?
• What if Dooku had “outed” Palpatine to Obi-Wan in his “join me” speech on Geonosis?
• What if Jar Jar hadn’t proposed that the Senate grant Palpatine emergency powers?
• What if the Senate hadn’t authorized the use of the Clone Army?

More stupid Star Wars crimes

From CourtTV.com:

• For the clerks at B.J.'s Wholesale Club in Leominster, Mass., the phantom menace seemed pretty real in 1999. Toting handguns instead of light sabers, two men dressed as Darth Maul burst into the superstore and took $80,000 in cash and merchandise, according to police. The hooded villains then stole a clerk's pickup truck for their getaway. Detectives lifted prints off the truck and arrested Jason Palmer, 23, who was sentenced to 12 years in prison. The other costumed Sith Apprentice was never caught.
  
  
• Luke Skywalker was light-years away from Tatooine when he appeared in a Pennsylvania courtroom on charges of indecently assaulting a man in 2003, according to the Press Association News. The namesake, who appeared dressed in a navy T-shirt and trousers, nodded when the court clerk asked him, "Are you Luke Skywalker?" Skywalker denied the charges and was granted conditional bail.
  
  
• Though some might consider North Dakota a galaxy far, far away, police in Bismarck didn't believe a car thief who identified himself as Obi-Wan Kenobi. When officers captured the culprit in 2001, he claimed he was the venerable Jedi knight, saying, "I was just obeying orders from The Force," according to Road & Track. The thief went so far as to sign a police document as "Obi-Wan Kenobi," but officers resisted the apparent Jedi mind trick and arrested him anyway.

Read more

Darth Vader, Stickup Guy

From CourtTV.com:

When Darth Vader made an appearance at a movie theater in Springfield, Ill., on May 21, he wasn't there to recruit minions or to watch his doppelganger in the sixth and final Star Wars movie, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

Instead, he robbed the cash register.

According to Springfield Police Lieutenant Doug Williams, an unidentified man wearing a Darth Vader mask, black pants and a black shirt walked into the Showplace Eight Theatre at about 9:15 p.m. The man made his way behind the counter of the front cashier area, shoved the employee aside and grabbed an undisclosed amount of money.

The Phantom Menace: Infinities (2)

How would these scenarios play out in a comic, with caveat being that the single most important event of the prequel trilogy remains the same – Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader?

Hmm.

What if Anakin had lost the pod race?

1. Anakin loses the pod race.
2. Padme’s ship is forfeited to Watto.
3. Qui-Gon, ever the maverick, steals the ship back.
4. Anakin has stowed away on board.
5. The Jedi Council tells Qui-Gon to take the boy back home.
6. He doesn’t.

What if Obi-Wan had died in the fight against Darth Maul instead of Qui-Gon?

1. Darth Maul kills Obi-Wan.
2. Qui-Gon kills Darth Maul.
3. Qui-Gon takes Anakin as his padawan.
4. As time passes, Qui-Gon starts to compare Anakin unfavorably to his dead padawan, Obi-Wan.

What if both Jedi had survived the fight with Darth Maul?

1. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon kill Darth Maul.
2. Obi-Wan is promoted to Jedi Knight.
3. Qui-Gon takes Anakin as his padawan.
4. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon maintain their friendship.
5. Anakin comes to resent this friendship.

What if Darth Maul had killed both Jedi?

1. Darth Maul kills Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.
2. The Trade Federation is still defeated on Naboo.
3. The Jedi Council attends the funerals of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon on Naboo.
4. Mace takes on Anakin as his padawan.
5. Anakin comes to resent Mace.

What if Darth Maul had killed Qui-Gon in their first encounter?

1. Darth Maul kills Qui-Gon while he and Anakin are boarding Padme’s ship.
2. Obi-Wan gets Anakin on board, but is too late to help Qui-Gon.
3. Anakin blames Obi-Wan for Qui-Gon’s death.

What if, after being rejected by the Council, Anakin had run away on Coruscant?

1. Anakin is rejected by the Council.
2. Anakin runs away from the Temple.
3. Anakin is found by Palpatine, who takes him in as his ward.

[Talk about worst case scenario!]

What if Padme had purchased Shmi’s freedom?

1. Anakin destroys the Trade Federation’s droid control ship.
2. Padme repays Anakin by purchasing his mom’s freedom.
3. Shmi is set up in a little house on Naboo.
4. Anakin goes to see his mom regularly.
5. The Jedi discourage this.
6. Palpatine has Shmi murdered.
7. Anakin thinks the Jedi did it.