Sunday, March 20, 2005

BSG: Colonial Day

Having garnered enough water and fuel to take care of the fleet's immediate needs, President Roslyn uses the upcoming Colonial Day holiday to reconstitute the Quorum of Twelve, the traditional ruling body of the Colonies. The survivors of the various planets have held a vote and chosen new representatives to replace those lost in the holocaust. Tom Zarek is chosen as the representative of Sagitara, and in a surprising (or not so surprising) move, the people of Caprica have chosen Gaius Baltar. Apollo and Starbuck are assigned to a security detail to get them in the episode.

The interim Quorum meets on the Cloud Nine, a cruise ship which has artificial sunlit gardens which remind the Colonials of what they've lost. Ellen, who has an agenda all her own, shakes Zarek's hand after Saul Tigh refuses to when the delegates are being greeted at the door of the auditorium. Tigh, naturally, doesn't care for this.

Baltar, who has been pulling all-nighters doing fake Cylon tests, snoozes through the beginning of the session until Number Six out of the blue tells him that she's decided it's okay if he sleeps with other women, as long as he knows that she "has his heart." She demonstrates exactly what she means by giving him a taste of what a heart attack feels like. Nevertheless, since he's been greenlighted, he later finds the opportunity to bang a blonde reporter in a bathroom stall.

Roslyn tries to manage the Quorum and almost closes the first session without incident when Zarek puts forth a motion that she's forgetting the most important thing that has to be decided -- who will fill the vacant Vice Presidential seat?

In an obviously rehearsed move, the councilor from Virgon quickly nominates Tom Zarek for the role, stating that Zarek sent people to fix mechanical problems on his ship before Roslyn even returned his calls. The councilor from Gemenon seconds the nomination, also looking as if she was coached. Roslyn is forced to smile graciously and state that nominations will be open for another 72 hours.

Back on Colonial One, Roslyn tells Billy, Apollo and Wallace Gray, a previously unseen aide who is called "the power behind the throne" by the fleet's media, that she'll be damned if she lets Zarek become VP. She pressures Gray into running for the post.

The media follows Zarek around the gardens and he uses the opportunity to put forth some sensible views. He points out that even though life as the Colonials have known it is over and money has no worth, businessmen are acting as if they still have businesses to run and lawyers with no clients are still acting like lawyers. He singles out a middle-aged gardener and asks, "Why is this man still doing this when he gets no benefit from it?"

People start to nod, word.

Roslyn, alone in her room, hears the broadcast and even she looks like, my gods, he's right.

Apollo, in uniform and drinking at the bar (eh?), tells the bartender to shut off the broadcast of Zarek. A chubby Hispanic Zarek supporter objects, and Apollo scoffs at his rights as a civilian and downs some more ambrosia.

"Mr. Zarek is a representative of the people, and we are the people!" says El Gordo.

"Well, you're people... sort of," disses Apollo.

Before you know it, El Gordo belts Lee across the jaw with a beer bottle and the two are tussling. Gimpy Starbuck f's up a brother, using her crutch as a weapon. While the scuffle is going on, a mysterious would-be assassin accidentally has his gun fall out of his briefcase and gets caught by Kara. Oh, and Lee, turning the other cheek, viciously cracks a bottle over the chubby dude's head and taunts him: "Are you looking for THIS?"

Back on Cylon-occupied Caprica, Helo, who is starting to wake up after having seen two Shelly models already, starts wondering aloud if the Cylons are using human DNA to create clones. Boomer, nervous, suggests that if there are clones, they may be capable of complex emotions, but might not be responsible for their actions, an idea that Helo flatly dismisses.

"Whatever they are, they aren't human. No human could do the things they've done. Killing billions of people? They've got to be frakking Cylons, just like the rest of them."

Boomer's face, of course, is priceless.

Lee and Kara question Vallance, the failed assassin and, though scared, he gives up nothing, proving that Starbuck and Apollo really ought to practice that "good cop, bad cop" thing a little harder. Apollo reports his failure to Roslyn. He suggests that the entire Sagitaran delegation be sent back to their ships, but she says, no, that would violate their civil rights. In the next breath she orders Lee to tap Zarek's phones and bug his room! LOL!! Is that the chamalla speaking?

Gray lays out his mission statement before the Quorum, but Billy lets the President know that his straw poll shows that Gray's support is slipping. Apollo wanders over to Zarek and feels compelled to whisper in his ear, "You're next!"

Zarek merely rolls his eyes.

Zarek later slips away to the bar and ends up serving Ellen, who is predictably getting her drink on. Ellen lets him know that she wants to secure her place -- oh, and husband Saul's, of course -- in the future. Zarek says he's looking for a friend of his named Vallence, and voila! Vallance is sitting dead with slit wrists in the next scene.

The media catches up with Baltar. He starts off shaky since he, of course, is simultaneously carrying on a conversation with Number Six, but he starts to warm up to the subject and says positive, seemingly sincere things about how teachers have historically made a profound impact on people's lives and how history has examples of people of humble beginnings emerging into leadership roles after cataclysmic events. He also points out that Zarek has been in prison for the last twenty years and he's never shouldered any real responsibility.

People start to nod, word.

Roslyn, listening in on her wireless while pow wowing with Apollo, Starbuck and Tigh over Vallance's death, hears echoes of the Pythian Prophecies in Baltar's speech and she realizes that she needs the charismatic scientist, since he can work a crowd.

Roslyn meets with Gray and tells him to bow out for "health reasons." He compliments her on how she has grown into the bare-knuckled, backstabbing politician role. Then she meets with Baltar in the restroom and tells him she wants him to be her VP. He accepts and goes back to banging the blonde reporter he left in the stall.

Baltar wins a close vote and he's greeted as a Hollywood star at the party thrown afterwards. Chicks swarm all over him and Number Six gives him a pass. Apollo slides up to the bar to chat with an attractive blonde in a blue dress and when she turns around, it's Starbuck. They share a dance.

Zarek approaches Roslyn and admits her gambit was "nicely played," but assures her he'll be back for the presidential election in six months. He also lets her know that he didn't have Vallance killed, and she ought to wonder who did.

Adama shares a dance with Roslyn and she admits that she chose Baltar as VP because he's "the devil you know."

Billy and Dualla are dancing, and Starbuck, after one brief dance with Apollo, moves on to Baltar. Ellen tells Saul that she's wrangled a day in a luxury suite on the Rising Star for the two of them. She doesn't explain how she managed it, though she shares a meaningful glance with Zarek.

Finally, back on Caprica, as Helo and Boomer try to sneak into a heavily fortified base to steal a spacecraft, Helo spies yet another pair of Shellys -- and a Boomer! His Boomer shoots the other Boomer and tries to explain whatever, but Helo hauls ass out of there as the truth becomes evident.

Other Observations
  • There's funny moment as three journalists stroke each other's egos while they cover the event for God knows who: "I'm James McManus, formerly of the Caprica Times and with me are two of the only legitimate journalists left in the universe, Playa Palacios, veteran commentator of the Picon Star-Tribune, and my wingman, Sekou Hamilton, former editor of the Aerilon Gazette..." They so need to get over themselves. LOL!
  • "Colonial Day" is evidently a very young holiday. McManus states that it is a commemoration of the 52nd anniversary of the signing of the "Articles of Colonization." Interesting.
  • The expected frolicking between Starbuck and Apollo that didn't happen at the end of last episode takes place here when she hoses him down while they're supposed to be discussing security.
  • Golly, what's up with Apollo? He was uncharacteristically rude in this episode.

No comments: