What, to you, makes a good novel?

I found No Plot, No Problem to be a bit simple for me, but I did do the "what is a good novel/what isn't a good novel" exercise.

I discovered that I like the following in a novel:

• The main character must undergo either mental or physical pain.
• A beloved character is unjustly injured or killed.
• The main character has to overcome some inherent limitations.
• I like novels in which the characters have to travel.
• I like chapter titles.
• I like historical or fantasy settings.
• I like romance that leaves something to the imagination.
• Tragedy.
• Loss.
• Rational villains.
• Hard-won victories.
• Exotic cultures.
• Political intrigue.

I don’t like:

• School stories.
• Courtroom stories.
• Dialogue that can’t be said out loud.
• Complicated fight scenes or battle scenes.
• Precocious children.
• Comedies.
• Novels that are over 500 pages.
• First-person narration.
• Children or animals being abused.
• Old people as the protagonists.
• Insanity.
• Characters that screw for no reason.
• Smartasses.
• Stupid women.