Baby is sent through X-ray machine at LAX

From LATimes.com:

A woman going through security at Los Angeles International Airport put her month-old grandson into a plastic bin intended for carry-on items and slid it into an X-ray machine.

The early Saturday accident — bizarre but not unprecedented — caught airport workers by surprise, even though the security line was not busy at the time, officials said.

A screener watching the machine's monitor immediately noticed the outline of a baby and pulled the bin backward on the conveyor belt.

The infant was taken to Centinela Hospital, where doctors determined that he had not received a dangerous dose of radiation.

Lovely. Talk about having a "senior moment"!

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Man hits "tasty" seven-legged deer in his driveway

From Fond du Lac, Wisc. Reporter:

What has seven legs, male and female reproductive organs and nub antlers?

It sounds like a bad joke, but it's what Rick Lisko found in his driveway late last month.

Lisko hit the seven-legged nub buck while driving his truck through the woods along his mile-long driveway near Mud Lake, east of Waucousta in the Fond du Lac County town of Osceola on Nov. 22.

"It was definitely a freak of nature," Lisko said. "I guess it's a real rarity."

"And by the way, I did eat it," Lisko said. "It was tasty."

Ewww!!!

Read more..

Israeli Army Hates D&D

From Wired.com:

The fact of the matter is that when you're an Israeli soldier pinned down in a trench by Lebanese snipers, you really don't want to see your commander pull out his D20s and making his agility roll for dodge. That's not a Beholder you're facing there, Sarge.

The Israeli Army knows this. And that's why every D&D enthusiast who joins the Israeli army is automatically given a low security clearance and viewed as unrealiable, subpar soldiers.

Israeli officials view a fondness for Dungeons and Dragons as being indicative of a delusional mind, RPGers are out of touch with reality. "The game indicates a weak personality," one security official said. "One of the tests we do, either by asking soldiers directly or through information provided us, is to ask whether they take part in the game," he added. "If a soldier answers in the affirmative, he is sent to a professional for an evaluation, usually a psychologist." Also, a strip club.

ROFL! If the U.S. Army didn't let in Roleplayers, video gamers and comic book enthusiasts, let me tell you, they'd have no one. ;)

Actually, in the original article, the real beef wasn't with D&D, it was with Live Action Role Playing (LARP), but it's still funny.

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Investment Spam

More lovely spam. This is a great investment opportunity for hemp and cotton in Spain. Please!

Hemp & Cotton Company Ltd.

Dear possible representative,


This is hemp & Cotton Company Ltd. We collect hemp and cotton from Spain for production of textile and fabrics which we supply to our clients in the North American geographical region (United States) and Canada for cloth making.

Now are looking for some representatives over there who can help us receive payments from our customers. This wouldnt affect your present state of work though we are working on setting up some branches over there but for now we need someone who will be handling that aspect, We need people that are responsible and reliable.

Our main factory is located in London, United Kingdom where the hemp and cotton is needed for the manufacturing of fabrics, We are willing to pay $200 for any payment you receive and you can still keep your regular job while you work for us. All you will do is to receive payments from our customers over there.

To facilitate the conclusion of this transaction if accepted, do send us by mail promptly the following:

1.Your full name and full contact address.
2.Private phone number and email address.
3.Date Of Birth
4.What do you do for living presently?


ATTENTION: It wouldnt cost you any cent, you are to receive payments which will be sent to you from our business partners.

Please if you are interested please email us back to: betty.sales.manager@hotmail.com


Thanks for your time
Yours Sincerely,

Betty Wilson
Executive Manager


Contact Us Hemp and Cotton Ltd 2006 All rights reserved

Do legitimate businesses use Hotmail addresses to contact you? Didn't think so.

Stock Spam

I've been getting a lot of stock spam this fall. I hate that shit. Who would be ass enough to buy this stock? It's worth a fraction of a penny!

Andy Pettitte is headed back to the New York Yankees!

From Excite Sports News:

NEW YORK (AP) -Andy Pettitte is headed back to the New York Yankees.

Pettitte and the Yankees reached a preliminary agreement Friday on a $16 million, one-year contract, a deal that reunites the two-time All-Star with the team he helped to win four World Series titles.

Yay!!!! We should never have let Andy go in the first place!

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iPod Baby Onesie

That isn't my baby, that's someone else's baby, but how cool is that? An iPod onesie from iPodMyBaby.com!

I have to have it!







Also cute is iPodMyPhoto, but you ought to be able to do this yourself in Photoshop if you have patience. Or if you have a friend who has patience. ;) You submit your photo to them and they transform it into the look of an iPod ad for $19.95.

Search Continues for James Kim

From ABC News:

After being stranded in the wilderness for more than a week, three members of a California family are doing remarkably well.

Kati Kim, her 4-year-old daughter, Penelope, and her 7-month-old daughter, Sabine, should soon be released from Three Rivers Hospital in Grants Pass, Ore.

But their ordeal isn't over. A search continues for Kati's husband, James Kim, who left his family two days ago to look for help.

On Monday afternoon, rescuers found three members of the Kim family on a rugged, snow-filled road where their Saab station wagon had been stuck for more than a week.

This story is very troubling. I remember James Kim from the technology reports he used to do on Tech TV (before they became G4 TV and started catering solely to teen video gamers). He used to go on and on about his wife and kids in a very mushy way that was a bit much, but seemed genuinely sincere. You’d think that someone so into his family would’ve been more careful about driving in unfamiliar territory (regardless of who was actually driving).

It’s also very sobering to think that there are still places where you can’t get cell phone coverage and if you get lost, you might not be found in time. The only good part of the story is that the mom was able to keep the two girls alive by breastfeeding them, though if it hadn’t have been for the 7-month-old, you’d have to assume the mom wouldn’t have been lactating and the 4-year-old might not have made it.

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"Tweener" Involved in Fatal Accident

From TMZ.com:

Law enforcement sources from the Beverly Hills Police Department tell TMZ "Prison Break" star Lane Garrison was behind the wheel when his SUV crashed into a tree, killing one of the occupants.The accident occurred Saturday night in Beverly Hills. Sources say one of the passengers, a 15-year-old girl, was in critical condition and has a relative who works for the city of Beverly Hills. One source says the 17-year-old boy who was killed went to the local high school which is presumably Beverly Hills High.

We're told Garrison was not arrested or booked after the accident. Typically, after a "K" car crash injury -- police jargon when someone is killed -- cops will ask the driver to submit to a voluntary blood-alcohol test.

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The Autograph Man

There's a funny article on Slate.com about a pitcher who's catching up on his fan mail this off-season -- 15 years late. The author of the article is one of many people who contacted the pitcher, Don Carman, when he was a little kid and was surprised to hear from him so long after the fact.

As it turns out, I am not Carman's only recent correspondent. In October, a Philadelphia TV station reported that Doug Ferraro, 23, received an autographed card from Carman in response to a letter that he had mailed out 16 years before. This was now a legitimate mystery, so I called Carman in Florida to find out what happened.

"My wife told me it was time to clean the garage," Carman said. "So, I started digging through the stuff and found a box behind my tools. I opened it up and saw it was a bunch of fan mail, 200 to 250 letters." For Carman, this was a slight embarrassment. During his career, Carman had worked diligently to sign and return every one of the two or three letters he received each day. Judging from the date of Ferraro's card and the price of my stamp, he must have gotten our batch of letters some time in 1991, the year he left the Phillies for the Cincinnati Reds. "That year was the year I moved; I got a different house," he said. "I even remember putting them in the box, because it was unusual for me to do that. I thought I'd watch a football game and leisurely do them. It never got done."

Carman could hardly bear to throw the letters away. But at age 47, he didn't have the enthusiasm to pick through them, either. So he paid his son Jackson, who is 8 years old, $4 to open and sort them. Then they sat down together, with Jackson, who never saw his father play, marveling at the rapturous odes inside. ("Dear Mr. Carman: You are my favorite baseball player. … ") At first content with merely signing the cards, Carman got caught up in the spirit and started writing notes to the now-grown kids. He lugged the envelopes down to the Naples post office, where he discovered that most of them included 25-cent stamps. "I told the postman I needed 250 10-cent stamps, and 250 4-cent stamps, and he just looked at me like, 'What are you doing?' "

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X-Men illustrator dies in Superman pajamas

From CNN.com:

COLUMBIA, South Carolina (AP) -- Wearing Superman pajamas and covered with his Batman blanket, comic book illustrator Dave Cockrum died Sunday.

The 63-year-old overhauled the X-Men comic and helped popularize the relatively obscure Marvel Comics in the 1970s. He helped turn the title into a publishing sensation and major film franchise.

Cockrum died in his favorite chair at his home in Belton, South Carolina, after a long battle with diabetes and related complications, his wife Paty Cockrum said Tuesday.

At Cockrum's request, there will be no public services and his body will be cremated, according to Cox Funeral Home. His ashes will be spread on his property. A family friend said he will be cremated in a Green Lantern shirt.

At Marvel Comics, Cockrum and writer Len Wein were handed the X-Men. The comic had been created in 1963 as a group of young outcasts enrolled in an academy for mutants. The premise had failed to capture fans.

Cockrum and Wein added their own heroes to the comic and published "Giant-Size X-Men No. 1" in 1975. Many signature characters Cockrum designed and co-created -- such as Storm, Mystique, Nightcrawler and Colossus -- went on to become part of the "X-Men" films starring Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry.

Cockrum received no movie royalties, said family friend Clifford Meth, who organized efforts to help Cockrum and his family during his protracted medical care.

I didn't really like his artwork, but definitely not the way one wants to go out.

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Igawa's rights go to Yankees

From MLB.com:

NEW YORK -- After missing out on star Japanese pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka earlier this month, the Yankees made sure not to let history repeat itself when Kei Igawa became available via the posting system.

Major League Baseball announced on Tuesday night that the Yankees had won the rights to the Japanese left-hander, who has pitched the past eight seasons for the Hanshin Tigers.

Published reports put the winning bid between $25-$26 million, which is roughly half of the $51.1 million it cost the Red Sox to acquire the rights to Matsuzaka. The Yankees would only pay Hanshin if they sign Igawa to a contract.

Hmm. This guy was not even on anyone's radar when the post season ended. It was all about Matsuzaka. I hope he's decent. At least he's a lefty and he's cheaper than Matsuzaka. It should be fun when the two go up against each other.

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Pelosi passes Hastings for Intel chair

From Yahoo News:

WASHINGTON - In a decision that could roil Democratic unity in the new House, Speaker-to-be Nancy Pelosi passed over Rep. Alcee Hastings (news, bio, voting record) Tuesday for the chairmanship of the Intelligence Committee.

Critics pointed out that he had been impeached when he was a federal judge and said naming him to such a sensitive post would be a mistake just as the Democrats take over House control pledging reforms.

"I am obviously disappointed with this decision," Hastings, D-Fla., said in a statement thanking his supporters. "I will be seeking better and bigger opportunities in a Democratic Congress."

He learned his bid for the chairmanship was unsuccessful during a closed-door meeting with Pelosi on Tuesday.

In a statement, Pelosi, D-Calif., said Hastings has made national security his highest priority. "He has served our country well, and I have full confidence that he will continue to do so," she said.

In a sign of the bitterness that has surrounded the debate, Hastings closed his statement by saying: "Sorry, haters, God is not finished with me yet."

Wait a minute. He actually used the word "haters" in a formal statement? I think this shows exactly why passing him by was a great idea. Sheesh.

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I Hate Verizon. And Linksys.

I've been having a lot of problems with my Verizon DSL service since Spring. It got to the point about two months ago where I was forced to reboot the modem/wireless gateway every time I logged on just to ensure a connection that would last 10 minutes without dropping. Not since the days of dial-up have I had service so piss-poor. I'm not talking about just turning off the modem by shutting off the power or hitting the reset button, mind you. That doesn't do squat. I had to connect to the modem through its web interface and disconnect it then reconnect. Unbelievable.

Finally, I'd had enough. I called Verizon and purchased a new plain Jane DSL modem for $35. Then I went to J&R and bought a Linksys Wireless-G broadband router with "SRX speed and range eXpansion" for $80.

You know what?

My connectivity is worse than it was before!

WTF!

Half the time I can't even see my own router in the list of available networks! As I'm typing this I'm connected to the Internet through somebody else's router! Whoever owns the router named "Sonia," thanks, man. At least your shit works. If it wasn't for you I'd have no wireless Internet whatsoever.

A Wii Workout: When Videogames Hurt

From the Wall Street Journal:

A videogame maker has finally succeeded in getting kids off the couch and moving around. But the new approach is turning out to be more exercise than some players bargained for.

These surprisingly vigorous workouts are being triggered by Nintendo's new Wii videogames. The Wii game console, which went on sale last weekend, competes with Microsoft's Xbox 360 and Sony's new PlayStation 3. One of the Wii's distinguishing features is a motion-sensitive technology that requires players to act out their character's movements, wielding the game's controller like a sword or swinging it like a tennis racket.

The new console has been wildly successful, selling out at stores and winning high marks from critics and game buffs. But as players spend more time with the Wii, some are noticing that hours waving the game's controller around can add up to fairly intense exertion -- resulting in aches and pains common in more familiar forms of exercise. They're reporting aching backs, sore shoulders -- even something some have dubbed "Wii elbow."

"It's harder than playing basketball," says Kaitlin Franke, a 12-year-old from Louisville, Ky. She has been camped out in front of her family's TV, fine-tuning her bowling motion and practicing boxing footwork in two of the Wii's games. Almost immediately, she says, her right arm started to feel numb.

In Rochester, Minn., Jeremy Scherer and his wife spent three hours playing tennis and bowling, two of the games included with the Wii. Mr. Scherer says he managed to improve his scores -- at the cost of shoulders and back that were still aching the next day. "I was using muscles I hadn't used in a while," says Mr. Scherer, a computer programmer who describes himself as "not very active." Mr. Scherer is vowing nightly "Wii workouts" to get in better shape.

ROFL! I wonder if the sales will drop once word gets out how physically demanding the games are? Moreover, I wonder when the first lawsuits for Wii-related injuries will hit?

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Police Kill Man After a Queens Bachelor Party

From the New York Times:

Hours before he was to be married, a man leaving his bachelor party at a strip club in Queens that was under police surveillance was shot and killed early yesterday in a hail of police bullets, witnesses and the police said. Two of his friends were wounded, one critically, they said.

Witnesses told of chaos, screams and a barrage of gunfire near Club Kalua at 143-08 94th Avenue in Jamaica about 4:15 a.m. after Mr. Bell and his friends walked out and got into their car. Mr. Bell drove the car half a block, turned a corner and struck a black unmarked police minivan bearing several plainclothes officers.

Mr. Bell’s car then backed up onto a sidewalk, hit a storefront’s rolled-down protective gate and nearly struck an undercover officer before shooting forward and slamming into the police van again, the police said.

In response, five police officers fired at least 50 rounds at the men’s car, a silver Nissan Altima; the bullets ripped into other cars and slammed through an apartment window near the shooting scene on Liverpool Street near 94th Avenue.

Mr. Bell — who was to have been wed at 5 p.m. yesterday to Nicole Paultre, 22, the mother of his two small daughters — was shot in the neck, shoulder and right arm and was taken to Jamaica Hospital Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead.

Wow. Kinda fucked up. On the surface some may see this as another Diallo case, but I don't see how these cops will be indicted. It looks like the groom was smashed out of his mind and unfortunately for him he hit the wrong car. Oh, and I'm sure the cops will say one or more of the guys in Bell's car had weapons and/or drugs. Yet another example of why you never, EVER let your friend drive drunk. Especially hours before his wedding.

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Richards tells Jackson racial slurs stemmed from humiliation

From CBC.ca:

Comedian Michael Richards, known best as Kramer on TV's Seinfeld, told Rev. Jesse Jackson's radio program that he recently yelled racial slurs at two black men out of anger, not prejudice.

Richards appeared on Jackson's nationally syndicated program, Keep Hope Alive, after the black leader invited him to appear.

The 57-year-old comic drew public fire after he hurled racial epithets at two hecklers who were ordering drinks during his act a week ago at a club in West Hollywood. His outburst was caught on a camera video and has since been posted on the internet.

The comic says he was trying to deal with hecklers at the time and was "in a place of humiliation" when he started using the racial epithets, which he claims he had never used before.

Richards' publicist Howard Rubenstein said the comedian would begin psychiatric counselling to learn how to deal with his anger and to comprehend how he ended up making those racist remarks.

Yo, didn't I say he'd end up in some kind of rehab? He's so full of shit.

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Family Day

As late as 7:20 a.m. on Friday I was having my doubts, but as Orlando drank his milk I looked at him and said, "Let's do this." Friday was "Family Day" at work and seeing as how they laid off 500 people a few weeks ago, they may never do this again. Or I may not be around if they do.

Within 40 minutes his diaper bag was packed and Orlando, me and my mom were in a cab and on our way. The cabbie was lousy and stubborn. He stopped for gas and refused to put on a seatbelt. Nevertheless, I was at my job by 8:45.

Orlando was great. He was very animated and social. He giggled when people were talking to him while I was taking him around and showing him off. He drank all his milk and he even had a long nap. The only bump in the road came when a former co-worker brought her baby to meet him. The other baby is three weeks younger, but taller, heavier and he can sit up on his own. The other baby also had a serious shoe fetish. He kept darting forward and touching Orlando's sneakers.

Orlando didn't know what to do. He looked at me, looked at the other baby, then he smiled tentatively. But the other baby kept doing it and Orlando looked like he was going to cry. I told him, "You live in New York, that's not the last time someone's going to try to take your clothes."

He looked at me blankly. ;)

Turkey Wrestling

Teeth!

Orlando's teeth are coming in!

Racist Rant By Seinfeld's Kramer

Pretty over the top, I'd say. He'll probably say he was drunk and he needs to go into rehab.

Soriano Gets Fifth-Richest Contract Ever

From ABC News.com

NEW YORK Nov 20, 2006 (AP)— Alfonso Soriano is thinking about a World Series title, something the Chicago Cubs have never brought to Wrigley Field.

Soriano's $136 million, eight-year contract was announced Monday by the Cubs after he passed a physical, the fifth-highest contract in baseball history and the first of eight years or more since Scott Rolen's deal with St. Louis in September 2002.

"It's a big contract, but that's not my goal," Soriano said. "My goal is to play hard and give you a championship for the city. That's my goal. It's not about the contract."

Chicago, which gave third baseman Aramis Ramirez a $75 million, five-year deal, hasn't won the World Series since 1908, when it played at the second West Side Park. In hopes of winning a championship, the Cubs are moving to the top level of baseball spenders, joining the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox.

That's a lot of dough for a guy that strikes out a lot. The Cubs are in a very winnable division, however, so they should go for it. Now all they need are three more starting pitchers.

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My Favorite Podcasts

I moved up from an iPod Shuffle to a 30GB iPod video in August and I started really getting into podcasts. At first I listed to news and political commentary, but that quickly got boring and I moved on to sports and fiction.

During the baseball season I was really into ESPN Baseball Today. Their coverage was great through the regular season and through the conclusion of the World Series. I also listened to Steven A. Smith. I’m not sure if I like his style or not, but there’s something inherently creepy that hits you after you listen day in day out to sports guys trashing black and Hispanic men. It’s nice to hear at least one non-white guy give his opinion.

ESPN Podcasts

During the baseball season I was also listening to Without A Curse, a bi-weekly podcast by 13-year-old Red Sox fan, Alex Reimer. He’s not bad for a adolescent. He has a tendency to say “sucks” too often, and since he’s only 13 he has no sense of history (thing about it – in his lifetime the Braves and Indians have had more good seasons than bad), but, like I said, he’s not bad. He even manages to get adults who know a little something (like sports editors and the like) to appear on his show and do phone interviews. His show is weekly now that the season is over, but I’m still listening.

Why do I listen to a Red Sox show, you ask? Why, because it’s so fun to hear the suffering. You’d think they didn’t win that championship in 2004. More importantly, there’s no one doing a similar Yankees podcast. What’s up with that?

When I’m not listening to sports podcasts I listen to fiction podcasts. My favorite is Escape Pod, which gives me a weekly 30 to 50 minute sci-fi, fantasy or horror fix. Escape Pod tries to supply Hugo award winners or nominees to the listeners, so the quality of the stories is good. So far my favorite Escape Pod stories have been The King’s Tail and I Look Forward to Remembering You.

I also like the Union Dues stories, which fall into the superhero genre:

EP80: Cleanup In Aisle Five
EP62: Baby and the Bathwater
EP49: Off White Lies
EP27: Glass Jaw

Escape Pod has a sister show called Pseudopod which is dedicated to horror. My favorite Pseudopod stories have been Turista and Sacred Skin.

In the superhero genre I like How to Succeed in Evil, the story of an “Evil Efficiency Expert” who helps villains maximize their potential. Unfortunately, it’s been a month since an episode has come out, so they may have run out of steam.

Last but not least, I like Retrieval Detachment, which is a podcast that reviews other podcasts, but alas, they’ve disappeared since they’re doing NaNoWriMo. What I liked about the podcast was the freeform brainstorming of the two hosts as they analyze the themes of different stories – mostly Escape Pod stories. I liked their discussion of time travel as a business. They went way beyond the idea of guided tours to the past and came up with fun ideas like kidnapping Leonardo DaVinci to teach a special one day “Master Class” at a university. LOL!

PS3 Insanity

Sony’s PlayStation 3 went on sale at midnight on Friday. All over the country there were reports of people sleeping on sidewalks to be one of the first in line and people robbing the people who slept on the sidewalks (LOL!). And, of course, there’s the usual flurry of eBay activity whenever something is hot and the supplies are low.

I’ve seen a number of consoles offered up for $10k or so, only to go unsold, but here’s an auction that was actually completed. Somebody paid $15,000 for three consoles -- two 60GB and one 20 GB .

Maybe I’m the stupid one? Maybe next time one of these “must have” items comes out I should sleep on the concrete so I can get paid. When you think about it, that’s easy money.

But who are these people who are willing to pay ten times what the consoles are worth? Why do they do this when, if they just had a little patience, they could get the console five weeks from now for list price?

Beats me.

FDA OKs wide sales of silicone breast implants

From Yahoo News:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Silicone breast implants will be widely available in the United States for the first time in 14 years after U.S. health officials approved sales by two companies on Friday.

Mentor Corp. (NYSE:MNT) and Allergan Inc. (NYSE:AGN) each must study the implant risks in 40,000 women for 10 years, the Food and Drug Administration said. Silicone breast implants were banned for most U.S. women in 1992 after some complained the devices leaked and made them chronically ill.

FDA officials said the companies had provided "reasonable assurance of the benefits and risks" that would enable women to make informed decisions.

"We now have a good understanding of what complications can occur and at what rates. We also know that women who get these devices will probably need to have additional breast implant surgery at least once," said Dr. Daniel Schultz, director of FDA's Center for Devices and Radiological Health.

Breast pain, hardening of the area around the implant, change in nipple sensation, implant rupture and the need for additional surgery all were reported in the companies' studies, the FDA said. Still, most women said they were happy with the implants.

You know, I understand that there are women out there who feel they need this because they don’t feel like women if they don’t have huge tits. Or they want to be actresses and they think they’ll get more jobs this way. But, MAN! The fucking side effects! So not worth it.

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Final Destination?

From Dailybulletin.com:

Last month, Bob Cartwright learned that his friend and personal pilot died in the plane crash that killed a New York Yankees pitcher.

"I was supposed to be on that plane," Cartwright told friends at the time. The pilot, Tyler Stanger, had invited Cartwright and Rod Watkins, a mutual friend, to a playoff game between the Yankees and the Detroit Tigers, but neither could make the trip.

Thirty-four days later, Cartwright got caught in a strange and sad twist of fate.

Cartwright died Tuesday at the age of 68 with two other men in a plane that crashed into the shoreline of Big Bear Lake, which is near his mountain home in nearby Sugarloaf.

Whoa. It's just like that movie.

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Red Sox Win Bidding Rights for Matsuzaka

Japan WBC team starter Daisuke Matsuzaka pitches against Japan's Yomiuri Giants in the first inning of their exhibition game at Tokyo Dome in Tokyo in this Wednesday, March 1, 2006 file photo.

From Yahoo News:

The Boston Red Sox have won the bidding battle for Japanese pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka, national broadcaster NHK said Wednesday, Nov. 15, 2006. Matsuzaka's Seibu Lions accepted the Red Sox bid early Wednesday, NHK said citing the ball club. The pitcher now has 30 days to negotiate the contract. (AP Photo/Itsuo Inouye, File)

I'm totally cool with this. I did not want the Yankees to shell out big bucks for an unproven talent only to get burned again. Can you say Hideki Irabu? Jose Contreras? Hopefully he'll suck against MLB hitting.

Apple Teams Up With Six Airlines to Deliver iPod Integration

From Apple Hot News:

Apple is teaming up with Air France, Continental, Delta, Emirates, KLM and United to deliver the first seamless integration between iPod and in-flight entertainment systems. These six airlines will begin offering their passengers iPod seat connections which power and charge their iPods during flight and allow the video content on their iPods to be viewed on the their seat back displays.

Cool!

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Shea It Ain't So

From the Daily News:

For an estimated $20 million a year, banking giant Citigroup got a 20-year deal that will put its name on Citi Field, the 45,000-capacity ballpark now being built just east of the 42-year-old Shea Stadium.

But the main entrance, modeled on the one in Brooklyn's old Ebbets Field, will be called the Jackie Robinson Rotunda, it was announced at yesterday's gathering.

Okay, first of all, "Citi Field"? How long before they call it "Shitty Field"? I hate these corporate names for ball parks. How am I supposed to remember who plays where when the name of the team isn't even in the name of the park?

Second, that's a nice gesture for the memory of Jackie Robinson and all, but excuse me, he played for the Dodgers, right? Shouldn't they honor him? The Mets don't have a Met that they could honor?

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All Star Wars, All The Time

The evil bastards at Cinemax were showing all six Star Wars movies back to back to back to, well, you get the picture, all weekend. And they're gonna continue showing the movies in story order and release date order through December.

Mustn't... black... out... ARGGGH!

View schedule here.

Veterans Day

In case you didn't know, yes, I'm a veteran. I served 8 years in the Army Reserve and I was deployed to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba as part of operation Enduring Freedom.

Let's just say, it was very stressful.

Sheff Shipped to Motown

From the Daily News:

The Yankees fulfilled their first objective of the offseason by trading outfielder Gary Sheffield to the Tigers for three top pitching prospects, the Daily News has learned.

The three prospects are Bronx native Humberto Sanchez, relievers Kevin Whelan and Anthony Claggett.

I don't even care if these prospects don't pan out. Good riddance. I liked Sheff in 2004, but after that he started running his mouth. What an asshole. My only regret is that we didn't ship him off to an NL team so we'd never see his ass again.

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Virginia is for Lovers

A celebratory Democrat James Webb holds up his Marine Corps son's combat boots during an election victory rally in Arlington, Va. Photo by Bill O'Leary - The Washington Post

From The Washington Post:

Virginia Sen. George Allen (R) today conceded the election to Democrat James Webb, cementing Democratic control of the Senate.

As of this morning, Allen trailed Webb by 7,484 votes. Republican sources said Allen had concluded that no amount of recounting would change the outcome, but members of the senator's campaign staff would not publicly confirm his intentions.

The concession spared the country from a recount that could have left control of the U.S. Senate in limbo for weeks. And it makes official what many have been saying since late Wednesday: that Webb will become Virginia's junior senator, giving Democrats a 51-seat majority and complete control of Congress for the first time in more than a decade.

With the vote tally so close, Allen noted that he had the legal right to ask for a recount, a procedure he said could drag on until Christmas.

Yay! The misogynist beat the racist! Woo hoo! It's a great day.

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Election Aftermath

[Who thought it was a good idea to have an ass as a political party's mascot anyway?]

Did You?

You did vote today, didn't you?

U.S. is twentieth most corrupt nation on Earth

From CNN.com:

Berlin-based corruption watchdog Transparency International (TI) ranks 163 countries based on perceived levels of corruption among public officials and politicians in its 2006 Corruption Perceptions Index (CPI).

TI said several countries had a significant worsening of their ratings, including Brazil, Cuba, Israel, Jordan, Laos, Seychelles, Trinidad and Tobago, Tunisia and the United States.

"This survey suggests that corruption in Iraq is very bad," TI Chief Executive David Nussbaum told Reuters.

Nussbaum, noting the recent Enron trial, said U.S. court cases had highlighted the scale of corruption there and may have contributed to the deterioration in the U.S. score. The United States was ranked 20th, next to Belgium and Chile.

Wow, we really do stink.

Not only did the U.S. suck at the Winter Olympics, World Cup, World Baseball Classic and the World Basketball Championships this year (not to mention yesterday's New York Marathon), we’re not even capable of being number one at evil? What kind of shit is this? Where's the pride?

Let’s all go out and vote tomorrow. Be sure to pick the candidates most likely to do evil, so hopefully we’ll break into the upper echelons of corruption next year and blow away punk ass countries like Seychelles.

Thirteen Writing Prompts

Thinking about writing (even though I'm not trying to get anything done), I came across this list of writing prompts for a contest on mcsweeneys.net.

THIRTEEN WRITING PROMPTS

BY DAN WIENCEK

- - - -

1.

Write a scene showing a man and a woman arguing over the man's friendship with a former girlfriend. Do not mention the girlfriend, the man, the woman, or the argument.


2.

Write a short scene set at a lake, with trees and shit. Throw some birds in there, too.


3.

Choose your favorite historical figure and imagine if he/she had been led to greatness by the promptings of an invisible imp living behind his or her right ear. Write a story from the point of view of this creature. Where did it come from? What are its goals? Use research to make your story as accurate as possible.


4.

Write a story that ends with the following sentence: Debra brushed the sand from her blouse, took a last, wistful look at the now putrefying horse, and stepped into the hot-air balloon.


5.

A wasp called the tarantula hawk reproduces by paralyzing tarantulas and laying its eggs into their bodies. When the larvae hatch, they devour the still living spider from the inside out. Isn't that fucked up? Write a short story about how fucked up that is.


6.

Imagine if your favorite character from 19th-century fiction had been born without thumbs. Then write a short story about them winning the lottery.


7.

Write a story that begins with a man throwing handfuls of $100 bills from a speeding car, and ends with a young girl urinating into a tin bucket.


8.

A husband and wife are meeting in a restaurant to finalize the terms of their impending divorce. Write the scene from the point of view of a busboy snorting cocaine in the restroom.


9.

Think of the most important secret your best friend has ever entrusted you with. Write a story in which you reveal it to everyone. Write it again from the point of view of your friend. Does she want to kill you? How does she imagine doing it? Would she use a gun, or something crueler and more savage, like a baseball bat with nails in it?


10.

Popular music is often a good source of writing inspiration. Rewrite Bob Dylan's "Visions of Johanna" as a play.


11.

Write a short scene in which one character reduces another to uncontrollable sobs without touching him or speaking.


12.

Your main character finds a box of scorched human hair. Whose is it? How did it get there?


13.

A man has a terrifying dream in which he is being sawn in half. He wakes to find himself in the Indian Ocean, naked and clinging to a door; a hotel keycard is clenched in his teeth. Write what happens next.

I like prompt number 5 best. The contest winners are here.

==

Okay, here's runner-up number two who used prompt number 7:

A Day in the Life of R. Kelly.

By Jenny R. Thomas

- - - -

"See, girl? Those bills ain't nothin' to me, plenty more where that came from— No, no, not in the bucket; I got people to dry-clean the upholstery! Shit."

===

ROFL!

Dissing the Dead

From the New York Times:

Long-silent mistresses, disgruntled former employees, estranged family members — Katie Falzone has seen them all.

They turn to the online guest books at the obituary Web site where she works, Legacy.com, to convey unflattering thoughts about the recently departed.

It is Ms. Falzone’s job to stop them.

…

Legacy, which is now eight years old, carries a death notice or obituary for virtually all the roughly 2.4 million people who die each year, but few foresaw how nasty some of the postings to its guest books would be.

Some of the snubs are blunt. “Everyone gets their due,” a former client writes of an embezzling accountant. Or, “I sincerely hope the Lord has more mercy on him than he had on me during my years reporting to him at the Welfare Department.”

Others are subtler: “She never took the time to meet me, but I understand she was a wonderful grandmother to her other grandchildren.”

“Reading the obit, he sounds like he was a great father,” says another, which is signed, “His son Peter.”

I’d never heard of this site before. They even had an obit and a guestbook for Yankee pitcher Corey Lidle.

A fascinating article and a fascinating site.

Read more…

IE7 = The Devil’s Browser

If you’ve used Windows Update in the last few days you by now have been given the opportunity to download Internet Explorer 7. Internet Explorer 7 has all sorts of nifty features such as tabbed browser windows, plug-ins, a choice of search engines to use, themes and the ability to subscribe to RSS feeds.

This would be awesome, except for the fact that Firefox (AKA Mozilla) has had these features and more for fucking YEARS now. And shit prints nicer from Firefox too.

Oh my God, how weak can you get?

Technorati tags: IE7 | firefox | mozilla | internet explorer

Total Recall

Here's a nice picture of Orlando playing with a toy that could kill him.

Once again I've purchased a toy that could kill a child. I received an email today from the Consumer Product Safety Commission about one of Orlando's favorite toys:

RC2 Recalls Toy Keys Due to Choking Hazard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Toy Keys

Units: About 275,000

Importer/Distributor: RC2 Brands Inc., of Oak Brook, Ill. The recalled products are marketed under RC2’s Learning Curve and The First Years brands.

Hazard: The colored top portion of the keys can crack, resulting in the release of small parts, which poses a choking hazard to young children.

Incidents/Injuries: RC2 has received four reports of cracking. No injuries have been reported.

Description: “Shake ‘n Jingle Keys,” “Shake & Jingle Keys,” “My Jingle Keys” all by The First Years and the John Deere “Real Keys” are toy keys, with three colored keys attached to a blue, red or green remote control with electronic features. Various colored buttons on the remote activate sounds. Only toy keys with the letter “F” in the date code stamp on the packaging and product are involved in the recall. The date code can be found on the back of the remote control. Toy keys with “TE” in the date code or yellow sides on the remote are not included in this recall.

Sold at: Department stores and independent toy stores nationwide from August 2005 through October 2006 for about $6.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should stop using the recalled toy keys immediately and contact RC2 for a free replacement toy.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact RC2 at (800) 704-8697 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. CT Monday through Friday, or visit the Learning Curve’s Web site at www.learningcurve.com

Earlier this year another toy (a toy cell phone) I'd purchased for one of my cousins also got recalled. Oh, and the batteries in my PowerBook G4 and Sony Vaio laptops were recalled too.

I think anything more complex than a large rubber ball is probably lethal and flawed.

Technorati tags: recall | baby | toys

NaNoWriMo… No. Again.

Well, it’s November and once again I’m not participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I mentioned back in February that I’d started this blog in 2005 in order to prepare for NaNoWriMo, but it still hasn’t happened. I don’t seem to have the ability to create anything new, so the only way I’m ever going to get a novel done is to piece together the stuff I scribbled down in pencil on loose-leaf paper when I was 14 years old. Somehow that feels like cheating, like I’m ripping off that younger, more creative self.

But, hey. That’s what old folks do -- feed off of the energy of the young.

My First Halloween!

My Tigger costume is nice, but it's too hot! Grrr!

He's probably on drugs too

St. Louis Cardinals starting pitcher Jeff Weaver pumps his fist after striking out Detroit Tigers Ivan Rodriguez to end the sixth inning in Game 5 of the World Series on Friday, Oct. 27, 2006 in St. Louis. (AP Photo/Elise Amendola)

Two runs, and only one earned? Nine strikeouts? From this guy? Naw. Can't be true.

Jeff (stinking) Weaver and the barely over .500 Cardinals are three outs from winning the World Series. Jim Leyland deprived us of seeing Kenny (cheater) Rodgers pitch one last time and extend his scoreless streak by rubbing "dirt" on his palms. He went with one of his young guns, Verlander, and he imploded. Dumb move, Jim. That's why you're losing this game (and the series).

Thank God this is just about over. Ratings-wise, this is one of the worst World Series ever.

Let's get some New York teams in there next year, okay?

What Not to Wear for Halloween

The Great Pumpkin, Detroit style.

(AP) - Kyle Sheldon of Norman Beach, Fla. wears the pumpkin carved with the Detroit Tigers' logo waits for the start of Game 4 of the World Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and Detroit Tigers on Wednesday, Oct. 25, 2006 in St. Louis. (AP Photo/Amy Sancetta)

Substance Abuse

Here's a funny take on Kenny Rodgers, the cheater, from Metstradamus:

I can now safely disclose to you without fear of punishment that I myself blogged for the first two months of the '06 season with Bosco on my hand.

Well, it was cold out and I figured as long as the temperature was low enough, I could go to my mouth. What better way to go to your mouth than to enjoy some chocolatey goodness in the process. I certainly never thought that it gave me an unfair advantage in my blogging.

But when FOX sports aired a clip of me blogging with the yet unidentified substance (you may not remember it, it aired during a Rockies game), I had to clean it off.

LOL!

Read more...

The Nine

Despite the lack of interesting TV shows in my preferred genre this fall season, I’ve still got a few new shows to watch. One is Heroes, which I expect will be cancelled before the end of the year. Another promising show is The Nine, which follows Lost on ABC on Wednesdays. I like Friday Night Lights on Tuesdays on NBC as well.

The Nine takes elements of Prison Break, Lost and 24, three shows that have been my favorites at one time or another. Similar to 24, The Nine is focused on a brief window of time, but unlike 24, the story of what happened in the critical time period is unfolding in flashbacks, not “realtime.”

The Nine is the story of – you guessed it – nine people, mostly from different walks of life, who happen to be caught in a bank at closing time and it’s just their bad luck that two gun-toting chuckleheads decide to stick the place up. From what has been revealed in the three episodes that have aired so far, what was supposed to be a simple armed robbery turns into a hostage situation that lasts over 52 hours. The drama of the show is all about how these ex-hostages reintegrate into the real world. The tension for the audience is the big tease of “Come on already! What really happened in the bank?”

The titular nine are an insurance adjuster, a black bank branch manager and his daughter, a Hispanic teller, a detective with a gambling addiction, a female assistant DA, a surgeon and his hospital social worker girlfriend, and one of the would-be bank robbers. There is also a tenth person – the Hispanic teller’s sister who dies shortly after the SWAT team swoops in on the bank. And there is an eleventh person—the second bank robber who was also shot and whose life hangs in the balance in the hospital. So far I find the female DA to be a stereotypical icy career chick, so there’s zero appeal there. The black bank manager seems okay, but as the story unfolds it looks like his daughter has a touch of Stockholm Syndrome and amnesia about what she did in there. The most appealing character is the quirky number cruncher whom flashbacks reveal to be the hero of the siege. I guess he tackled one of the bank robbers or something.

The first two episodes were okay, but the third episode was boring. It’s too early in the show’s run for that, so they need to be careful. I don’t think this show will make it, but since it has Lost as a lead in, you never know. Invasion sucked but it lasted a full season on the strength of its placement in the schedule.

He's on drugs

Detroit Tigers starting pitcher Kenny Rogers releases a throw against the St. Louis Cardinals in the first inning in Game 2 of the World Series on Sunday, Oct. 22, 2006 in Detroit. (AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)

He's doing it again!

For the third time this post season Kenny Rodgers is throwing a shutout. He hasn't been scored on in 23 innings! ERA of 0.00!

This can't be Kenny Rogers! It's a Cylon, or he's on drugs. Maybe both.

He's screaming at everyone, he's all pumped up. And he had some brown stuff on his hand in the first inning that LaRussa made the umpires force him to wash off. What the hell was that all about?

Test him!

What’s wrong with this picture?

St. Louis Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols, left, and catcher Yadier Molina celebrate after the Cardinals beat the Detroit Tigers, 7-2, to take Game 1 of baseball's World Series, Saturday, Oct. 21, 2006 in Detroit. (AP Photo/Duane Burleson)

This post season has been a total mystery to me. I’ve been wrong on practically ever pick. The Padres were supposed to beat the Cards. The Yankees were supposed to beat the Tigers. The Mets were supposed to beat the Cards. And tonight the Tigers were supposed to beat the Cards.

What is going on? All of the wrong pitchers are winning and losing. Glavine, Mussina, Johnson, Wells, Maddux, Zito and Santanta all lost games this post season! Pitchers who were totally off my radar came up big – John Maine, Oliver Perez, Anthony Reyes. Oh, and best of all, two guys who stunk up the joint in New York have recently become gods and they’re pitching against each other Sunday night in the World Series – Kenny Rodgers and Jeff Weaver.

I was picking the Tigers to sweep the World Series because I doubted the layoff would affect them, so of course they lost game one and they’ll probably get swept themselves by the shitty Cardinals. The Cardinals only won 83 games! How is this possible!

I literally slept through game one. I saw the top of the first, maybe only the first out, then I woke up and Monroe was rounding the bases in the 9th inning and somehow the Cardinals had put seven runs on the board. I may watch the rest of the series, but who cares who wins? I’m waiting for the day after the World Series when everyone can declare free agency and you can start talking about trades and which minor leaguers can be brought up. That’s when the fun really begins.

Oops! Mudville in New York Again

St. Louis Cardinals' Yadier Molina (4) celebrates his two-run homer in the ninth inning with Albert Pujols in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series agianst the New York Mets, Thursday, Oct. 19, 2006, at Shea Stadium in New York. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)

Well, Endy couldn't leap high enough to catch the winning run, a two-run shot by Yadier Molina in the top of the 9th. The Mets managed to load the bases in the bottom of the 9th, but couldn't push across a run.

Mets lose, 3-1. Poor Beltran made the last out with his bat on his shoulder.

Ironically, the Mets contained Pujols, got a quality start from a statistically horrible pitcher in Perez, and still couldn't win. In the end, the Mets went down the same way the Yankees did, and for the same reason. Big bats don't mean a thing in the post season. Fans of the Flushing team and fans of the Bronx team know that now. Big bats feast on mediocre pitching in the regular season. But in the post season when competent pitchers throw first pitch strikes, your big bats can't work the count. When you're constantly behind in the count, you have a tendency to not get on base.

Pitching, pitching, pitching. Molina called some great games.

Boy, they're going to be killing Willie Randolph tonight on WFAN. I wonder how many callers it'll take before someone suggests they fire him? How many people are going to say that Willie should've had Lastings Milledge on the roster so he could've been the one pinch hitting with the season on the line instead of the (literally) lame Cliff Floyd? How many people are going to say that Wagner (who almost blew a 4-run lead on Wednesday) should've been pitching in the 9th instead of Heilman?

The Catch

This is the vision that will haunt the Cardinals all winter:

New York Mets outfielder Endy Chavez makes a leaping catch at the wall to take away a home run away from St. Louis Cardinals Scott Rolen during the sixth inning of Game 7 of baseball's National League Championship Series, Thursday, Oct. 19, 2006, at Shea Stadium in New York. (AP Photo/Frank Franklin II)

Yeah, yeah, the score is tied. Technically the Cardinals still have a chance... but this game is over.

Game 7

The Mets managed to pull off a 4-2 victory in Game 6 to force a Game 7.

Two little bitty problems here:

• Their season hangs on the arm of Oliver Perez, who had a 3-13 record in 2006. People are praising him for the job he did in his last start, but did they see the same game I saw? I saw a guy give up five runs. On most nights you lose when your starter gives up five runs.
  
  
• The Mets closer, Billy Wagner, can’t be trusted, even with a 4 run lead in the 9th.

But hey. They’ll probably win anyway. The Cards aren’t showing me anything. They’re barely scoring any runs against a patched together Mets starting rotation. If the Mets implode and the Cards somehow make it to the World Series, you KNOW they’d get swept. Not only would they get swept, they might only score two runs over the course of the four games.

Let’s go Cardinals! LOL!

Signs of the Apocalypse (Baseball Version)

Ahem.

• Jeff Weaver (8-14 record in the regular season this year) holds the Mets to 2 runs twice in the NLCS.

• Kenny Rogers (walked in the series-ending winning run as a Met vs. the Braves in the ’99 NLCS) shuts out the Yankees on 4 hits in the Division Series and shuts out the A’s on 2 hits in the ALCS.

I don’t believe in (baseball) miracles. These guys are proven choke artists.

Drug test ‘em!

What if there were no humans?

Something interesting, but a little morbid, for an October Monday.

From The London Times Online:

If Man were to vanish from the face of the Earth today, his footprint on the planet would linger for the mere blink of an eye in geological terms.

Within hours, nature would begin to eradicate its impact. In 50,000 years all that would remain would be archaeological traces. Only radioactive materials and a few man-made chemical contaminants would last longer — an invisible legacy.

Man’s environmental footprint would, according to a report in New Scientist, begin to deteriorate almost immediately, with light pollution the first to go as power stations ceased to provide energy.

Glass and steel tower blocks that create city skylines would mostly fall down within 200 years. Brick, stone and concrete structures would last longer. With exceptions — the pyramids are already 3,000 years old — by the next millennium there would be little more left than ruins.

Read more...

Click on the cool graphic to see the full timeline of eradication!

Heroes

Around this time last year I was very excited about the new fall TV season. There were an unprecedented number of Sci-Fi and Horror genre shows debuting – Surface, Threshold, Supernatural, Invasion and The Night Stalker – and I was interested in seeing all of them.

Well, a year later all have been canceled but Supernatural. This year the crop of new genre shows is far more modest. Sci-Fi channel debuted Eureka at the end of the summer. It’s light fare about a small town filled with geniuses. I find it boring. The only other genre show is NBC’s Heroes, which ostensibly is a superhero genre show, but they’re trying hard not to embrace that theme and possibly alienate the Joe Sixpack viewer who stumbles across the show by accident.

Though the show is obviously trying to capitalize off of the success of the X-Men movies, the show reminds me of Surface in many ways. I’m too lazy to see if the same people are involved in the writing. Like Surface, the story is split into the points of view of multiple characters, all of whom have clues about the umbrella story -- where did all these mutants come from and what are they here for? As in Surface, we know that the main characters will all hook up and take on some evil secret government agency.

The Professor X of Heroes is a young Indian professor, but the analogy is a little off, since he doesn’t have any super powers (as far as we know). There’s a nerdy Japanese office worker who can teleport and slow down time who’s the most likeable character so far. My second favorite character is the invulnerable cheerleader. Brutal things keep happening to her body to the point where she’s like a living Mr. Bill. It’s an interesting choice of powers for a female. Usually female supers have powers that are helpful to others or are defensive or are “elemental.”

The other characters are less interesting. There’s a Hispanic junkie artist guy that paints the future. Ho hum. His light-skinned black girlfriend is interested in a white male nurse who has the power to levitate and fly. The male nurse has a brother running for Congress who can also fly, but the politician brother is a shithead who held a press conference and told everyone his brother is suicidal to cover for the accident that happened when the nurse was trying to find out if he could really fly. The last character is a white woman who runs an online peep show and has a precocious biracial son and a so far unseen black husband who’s (big surprise) a criminal. The peep show chick has some violent power we don’t get to see since she has blackouts. We only get to see the aftermath – mutilated bodies of the loan sharks who come after her. Maybe she’s a shapeshifter.

Most of the characters don’t know each other, but presumably they’ll find each other in the coming episodes. Hopefully that won’t take too long. That was one of the problems with Surface.

Do I think this show will last? No, not on a mainstream network like NBC. Is it worth watching? Sure. It’s not so bad.

Yankees Pitcher Cory Lidle Killed in Plane Crash!

Info is still coming in, but Reuters, AP and WNBC are saying that the small plane that crashed into an Upper East Side building at 2:45 p.m. today was owned by Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle and he was on the plane. His passport was found on the street.

Details to follow.

UPDATE: Lidle's Wikipedia page is changing each minute. Go to the page and keep hitting the refresh button. Someone even found a picture of him with his plane. Wow.

League Championship Series

I’ll be brief. I’m still bewildered over what happened to my team. I was wrong with three of the four picks I made for the Division Series, and even with the one I picked right (Mets vs. Dodgers) I didn’t think it would be a sweep.

Here are my new picks:

American League

Tigers in 5.

National League

Mets in 6.

What do I really want to happen? I want the Mets to get swept. Tigers too.

Joe Must Go

Here’s an interesting take on the imminent firing of Joe Torre in the Journal News blog today:

...But the longer it goes without Joe getting canned, the greater the odds are of him returning. The question is whether the reactionary or restrained elements of Yankeeland get the old man's ear. Torre has a lot of enemies in Tampa, people who think he gets too much credit.

A lot of those people are getting paid for doing nothing and are worried about their freeloading ways coming to an end if Brian Cashman stays in power. Getting Torre out weakens Cashman.

At this exact moment, I think Joe is out and Piniella is in. There is too much smoke for there not to be a fire. Congratulations, Torre haters. But this could be one of those deals where you should be careful what you wish for.

A-Rod will stay because Piniella will convince the Yankees he knows how to get the best out of him. Now, instead of just being the guy who can't get it done in a big spot, A-Rod will become the guy who can't get it done in a big spot and helped drive kindly Joe Torre out of town. Let's see him survive that if the Yankees don't win the Series next season.

He’s got a point there.

Read more…

Think the Unthinkable

After last night's loss to the Tigers, I think the Yankees front office should start to think the unthinkable. The Yankees are going to lose today and there will be a MASSIVE house cleaning in the off season. Before yesterday's game I predicted a loss (I really wanted to be wrong -- I want to be wrong today too), but I still felt we could win this series -- but that was before Kenny Rogers pitched a shutout. At this time yesterday I thought we'd lose, but still score five runs.

We didn't score any!

With Jaret Wright on the mound, we'll be down 5-0 by the third inning. The Tigers will win this game going away and we'll look like shit.

Is it time to consider firing Joe Torre? I think it is. I can't believe that a team with this kind of talent could fail to score a run since Thursday, so I think it's valid to start looking at how these games are being managed. The talent is there, but the moves aren't making sense to me. Melky Cabrerra has done a fine job all year in left field, so you bench him and put in Matsui, who only played about 40 games this year. In the first two games Torre puts in Sheffield at first base, a position he's only played for ten days. Torre's going for the big homer instead of going with guys you can play small ball with. He benched Sheff last night, but Sheff will probably be back in today and Jim Leyland will take advantage of that by trying to entice pickoff moves like he did last night. If Sheff throws the ball into left field on one of those plays, things will get ugly.

I think Torre's time has passed. We had a really great run with him and I DO appreciate the six World Series appearances and four rings, but he has a different set of players now and either they're not responding to his managerial style, or he's gone away from what brought him success. Or he just doesn't care so much anymore.

I know that the primary problem we haven't won since 2000 is that we're not trotting out a starting pitching rotation of Clemens, Wells, Pettitte and El Duque. We don't have Jeff Nelson, Mike Stanton and Ramiro Mendoza for middle relief. All we have is Chien-Ming Wang and Mariano Rivera. But our inability to score ANY runs with a talented lineup like we have speaks to something else.

Let's put it this way -- since we started losing series in 2001, we've changed everything but the manager. We've brought in new relievers and starters. We've brought in hitters that were more powerful and we've brought in hitters that had higher on base percentages. We got new pitching coaches, new batting coaches and new bench coaches. And we've still lost.

So change the one thing that hasn't been changed -- the manager.

I hate Lou Pinella. I hated him as a player and I hated him as a manager, but Steinbrenner always liked him, so he has the inside edge for the Yankee job. I also have to grudgingly admit that Pinella may be the only thing left that can salvage A-Rod's Yankee career. He'd get in his ass and demand excellence, and that's not Torre's personality.

People will also suggest Joe Girardi as a replacement, but that's a mistake. He has no experience.

Larry Bowa, the current 3rd base coach, may be another candidate. I doubt they'll interview any black or Hispanic candidates for the job. That would be a shocker. Oh, I forgot -- Pinella's Cuban.
--

As for the other two series on the air today, unfortunately, both are over. Even if Maddux holds the Mets to three runs, the Dodgers are still going to lose.

The Padres... wow, what the hell happened? I picked them to sweep. The Cards are a bad team! But they will complete the sweep today.

UPDATE: The Padres survived today by winning 3-1, with Pujols going 0-4.

5:25. Meanwhile it's the bottom of the 3rd and the Tigers are ahead 4-0. A-Rod has made an error that led to a run. Jaret Wright is already out of the game. The Yankees have been held scoreless for 20 innings. So much for the best lineup in baseball.

5:45. Top of the 5th. Bonderman is pitching a perfect game. I'm so tired of this.

5:54. Bottom of the 5th, no outs. 6-0 Tigers. We're getting blown away like I predicted. Cory Lidle has been replaced by Bruney. It's gonna be a long horrible winter.

6:00. Torre has inexplicably lifted Bruney for Proctor after one batter, following a fly ball that scored another run. WTF? Why bother? It's 7-0 anyway.

6:10. Top of the 6th. Cano got a hit. Thank God. At least we won't have a perfect game hanging over our heads.

6:26. Bottom of the 6th. 8-0 Tigers, two outs. Stop the bleeding, please. The only thing that can console me now is if the Mets somehow blow 3 games in a row to the Dodgers and get bounced in the first round too.

6:37. Top of the 7th. Hits by Jeter and Abreu and an RBI by Matsui. We won't be shut out, but this is still a stank day for the Yankees. Another hit -- Posada. But there's two outs and it's late in the game, literally and figuratively.

7:04. Bottom of the 8th. Farnsworth is pitching. That ought to be good for another run or two. The Tigers are 3 outs away from facing Oakland in the ALCS. Fox flashed a stat -- in this series Giambi, Sheffield and A-Rod only had one hit a piece.

7:08. Sheffield dropped a sure double play ball. E3. But no runs scored.

7:24. Leyland finally lifted Bonderman after a hit by Abreu and a catch by Monroe on Sheff that killed any thought of a rally by the Yanks, otherwise he'd have had a complete game. Then Posada hit a 2 run home run!

7:25 It's over. Ground out by Cano. Leyland just kissed a drunken male fan holding a Bud. What was that all about? Champagne everywhere. They're sharing it with the fans.

Final score 8-3 Tigers.

Time to watch the Mets game. :(

Technorati tags: Joe Torre | Jaret Wright | Yankees | Tigers | Steinbrenner

Must Win

I’m so pissed. Three of the four Division series went up 2-0. Whose series is 1-1? The Yankees. And the Twins got swept today and the Cards look like they’re gonna advance to the next round! WTF!

Now, despite what I said, I’m not surprised that the Yankees series is 1-1. ESPN, YES, FOX, etc. all kept saying, “Oh, this Yankee lineup, blah, blah, blah, Murderer’s Row, blah, blah, blah, how can anyone pitch to them.” But last Wednesday the Yanks almost got no-hit by a scrub. Was I the only one who saw that game? In addition, how can anyone act like this team can’t lose? This team has worse pitching than the team that lost to the Angels last year. This team is worse than the teams that lost to the Red Sox in ’04 and the Marlins in ’03. And this is not the '98 team that won 125 games. Now that was the best Yankee team ever.

We’re gonna lose tonight, y’all. Randy Johnson is pitching with a messed up back. He may take himself out of the game like Wells did in ’03 vs. the Marlins, and we know how that series turned out. I can only hope that Kenny Rogers is the same fucked up Kenny Rogers from ’96 when he was on the Yanks and got lit up in every postseason game.

We should still win this series, but I hate the drama! I didn’t think we’d sweep, but that would’ve been nice.

UPDATE: 8:15. A-Rod is batting 4th, Giambi is playing 1st, and Bernie is the DH. Interesting.

8:57. The score is 3-0, Tigers, top of the 3rd. No surprise to me.

9:57. Still 3-0. Top of the 6th. Yanks are making Kenny look like a genius.

10:18. Bottom of the 6th, 2 outs. 5-0 Tigers and Randy is out of the game. Disgusting.

10:34. No outs, bottom of the 7th. 6-0 Tigers on Granderson's homer. I can't wait for this shit fest to be over.

11:14. Yep, we lost. A 5-hit shutout. 0-18 with runners in scoring position. We face elimination tomorrow with Wright on the mound. Just great.


Technorati tags: Kenny Rogers | Randy Johnson | Yankees | Tigers

El Duque Injured

Can it get any worse for the Mets?

From ESPN.com:

Already missing Pedro Martinez, the NL East champions suddenly might have to replace scheduled starter Orlando Hernandez in Game 1 of the playoffs because of a calf injury, too.

El Duque felt discomfort in his right leg while he was jogging in the outfield Tuesday as the Mets tuned up for their first-round series against the Los Angeles Dodgers. The 40-year-old right-hander was pulled off the field and went for an MRI exam.

Read more...

The Playoff Picture

I dug up my second-half predictions from July 23. Not bad (but it wasn’t that hard). I correctly predicted that the Padres would hold on and take the NL West, the Tigers would drop into the AL Wild Card, the Yankees, despite injuries, would take the AL East and the Red Sox would not make the playoffs. I was wrong about the NL Wild Card as the Reds faded and the streaky Dodgers came out of nowhere, while in the AL the White Sox failed to make the post season.

The matchups are now as follows:

American League
A’s at Twins
Tigers at Yankees

National League
Cardinals at Padres
Dodgers at Mets

The Twins are 6-4 vs. the A’s this year, so the record indicates that they should win over the A’s. Five of the six wins were in the Metrodome and the Twins have the homefield advantage. The only thing the A’s have going for them is that they’re a better team now than they were when the Twins swept them in April.

The Yankees have a 5-2 record against the Tigers. The two losses were both games in which Mariano Rivera was not available, so their record should’ve been 7-0. The Tigers limped to the finish line, getting swept by the lowly Royals this weekend and ending up in second place in a division they led all season. The Yankees should win this series, but the Yankees’ pitching outside of Wang and Rivera gives every team a fighting chance. And the Yankees will make errors at 1st and 3rd. I expect A-Rod to be a butcher in the field and hit about .250 with 2 RBI.

The Cardinals did their best to hand the NL Central to the Astros this week, and if not for the Braves and John Smoltz, they’d be looking at a one-game playoff with the Giants on Monday. They suck. They’ve got Pujols and… Pujols. And Pujols can’t pitch. The Padres are 4-2 this year vs. the Cards and that’s before they acquired David Wells. The Padres should win this easily. They might sweep.

The Mets hold a 4-3 record over the Dodgers, but with Pedro gone, their pitching isn’t scary. They need Glavine to be the 1995 Glavine and El Duque needs to summon up that post-season mojo one more time. Maddox can beat the Mets, but he’s not pitching three times.

The League Championship series should shape up like this:

American League
Twins vs. Yankees

National League
Padres vs. Mets