Backwards, Yoda speaks: If Yoda has trained Jedi for over 800 years, and presumably lived at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant for most of that time, there’s no reason why he can’t speak Basic properly. He must want to speak that way. Luckily, it’s cute. If he were a little black man speaking some Down South Uncle Remus jargon… God, I don’t even want to think about that.
Luke is still whiny: Luke has a couple outbursts in this movie, but they’re all in response to mental or physical anguish. Except for the first one:
“I don’t know what I’m doing here! I’m wasting my time!”
This comes when he’s sitting in Yoda’s cramped house and he’s already asked Yoda fifteen times when he’s going to take him to see the Jedi master. Is Luke wrong? Yeah, for once I’d say yes. He dumped a bowl of hot food on the floor of Yoda’s hut. That’s foul. I know Aunt Beru raised him better than that. And you know what’s up with that – Luke assumed that the Yoda he was looking for had to be a white human male like Ben.
“They’re my friends! I can’t let them die!”
To which Yoda replies, “If honor you do the cause they fight for, yes.” This exchange takes place as Luke is preparing to leave Dagobah for Cloud City. Who can blame Luke for wanting to help? Yoda, being a big picture little guy, is right, but Yoda has shown that he hasn’t been able to follow his own advice. He stopped his duel with Count Dooku to save Anakin and Obi-Wan from being crushed by a pillar. If he had let them get crushed, he probably could’ve caught and killed Dooku. He couldn’t do it.
“I’ll never join you!”
You know, when you learn that someone you trusted lied to you, and someone you hate is telling you an ugly truth – and he just hacked off your freaking hand! – you get a free moment of anguish.
Yoda is a user. So is Ben: Aren’t we all? Seriously, it’s not that they don’t care – they’re not big on praise. Aren’t most coaches, drill sergeants, personal trainers, etc. like that? I guarantee if they had made Yoda a human female she would’ve been appropriately nurturing and motherly.
Lando is a backstabber: Yeah, so? I just wish he wasn't black. Frankly, Lando doesn’t owe Han and those guys shit. He’s been the administrator of Cloud City for years. He surely has relationships with the people. Why would he sacrifice all that for a guy whom he hasn’t seen in years who cheated him out of his ship? Besides, the city had been occupied by the Empire. It’s not like he could’ve done anything. This would be like if the FBI sent a S.W.A.T. team to my house and told me that they were going to hide out there to apprehend a fugitive who ripped me off ten years ago and was now wanted for blowing up a federal building and killing hundreds of people. I couldn’t get rid of them if I wanted to and, frankly, it sounds like “old buddy” has really gone bad!
I may have mentioned this before, but I think that if Lando had been a woman, people would really like the character. Imagine a female Lando, an ex-lover of Han’s. You don’t know whose side she’s on, she’s making Leia jealous and she’s turning Han on. That would’ve gone over well. Not if she was black, though. Maybe an Asian or a Latina, but a buxom blonde would’ve been a safe choice.
Threepio is annoying: Threepio is an “audience surrogate,” not unlike Hudson from Aliens. He says what you’re thinking: “How’re they going to get out of this? Is surrender an option?” He’s really selfish too, which is great considering how preachy everyone else is. What’s not to like?
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