Stuff that doesn’t bother me: Return of The Jedi

Luke Noir: Luke is very somber in this movie, and I don’t like his subdued personality, but he looks a lot cooler in black than he did in the farmboy gear in Episode IV.

Sailbarge Massacre: Luke personally maimed or killed fifteen of Jabba’s henchmen when he attacked the sailbarge. He’s like a wild man, flipping all over the place, chopping people up. Where did all of this come from? His skills have gone up exponentially between Episodes V and VI. He also uses Force Choke against Jabba’s Gamorean guards early in the movie, which is interesting because how would he even know such a thing exists? Only Vader has done that and the witnesses were always other Imperials. Apparently a year passes between these episodes, so Luke must’ve been training hard. It is a stretch, but, hey.

Yoda’s Death: Yoda seems to die very abruptly in ROTJ, but I’m of the opinion that the only thing that kept him alive all of those lonely years in the swap was hope. He thought he’d failed and that Luke was never going to return, or if he did return it would be to kill him. Yoda, like a lot of old people, once he lost the will to live, went fast.

Celebrations Across the Galaxy: One of the scenes added to the extended version shows simultaneous celebrations on a number of worlds – Tatooine, Naboo, Bespin and Coruscant – as word presumably reaches everyone that Palpatine is dead. Now, this is bullshit, for many, many reasons. It would be months at least before word reached the Core Systems, much less Tatooine in the Outer Rim. It’s also highly likely that the Empire would deny that the Emperor was dead for as long as possible. The remaining admirals and moffs could keep up a charade for years if they felt like.

Also, it’s highly unlikely that people on any of the four worlds mentioned would be able to have the huge public celebrations seen on the DVD. Tatooine is still run by the Hutts, is it not? The people of Tatooine were neglected by the Republic and apparently largely ignored by the Empire, so it doesn’t seem like the death of the Emperor would particularly excite them.

Naboo is the home of Palpatine! Surely the Imperial presence there would be particularly strong. How could humans and Gungans gather in the streets of Theed to party without the party being shot up? The same with Coruscant. That’s the seat of the Empire. Coruscant would be the last planet to fall to the Rebels. And last time I checked, Bespin had just been taken over by stormtroopers. Did they immediately leave after Han was delivered to Boba Fett and the others escaped in the Falcon?

Nevertheless, this is probably my favorite part of ROTJ, especially the scene on Coruscant, which looks like it’s New Year’s Eve and you can hear bells tolling. I’ve heard that if you look closely, you can see a crowd pulling down a statue of the Emperor.

Anakin’s Apparition: In the DVD, the ghost of Anakin that appears at the end is Hayden Christiansen, not the guy who played him when the movie was originally filmed. Of course that other guy, who I think is dead now, probably would’ve been pissed, but in light of the information in the prequel trilogy, he was clearly too old. Anakin, at the time of his death as Vader, was only about 44 years-old. That other guy looked like he was 60. The decision to show a twenty-something Anakin is probably meant to show that when he rejoins the Force, he rejoins at the point he left the Light Side.