Thursday, April 21, 2005

Stuff that doesn’t bother me: A New Hope

The number one complaint people have about Luke in this film is that he's supposedly "whiny." No, Anakin is whiny – Luke at least has some basis in reality when he acts out. Luke’s outbursts always come when he feels that the people around him are doing the wrong thing. And he’s usually correct. Anakin’s outbursts usually come when people aren’t agreeing that he should be treated like a god. Anyway, Luke is Anakin’s son, right? We can see where he gets this trait from.

Let’s look at examples of Luke’s "whininess" in Episode IV.

“It looks like I’m going nowhere.”

He drops this line after Uncle Owen tells him he can’t go see his friends because he has to clean the new droids. Why can’t Owen clean the fucking droids? They’re not Luke’s droids. Anyway, Luke isn’t pissed about cleaning droids, he’s pissed at the emotional blackmail going on, the whole, “You can’t leave the farm this year either” thing. Luke doesn’t have a right to be annoyed?

However, Owen is probably the unsung hero of the universe. If he hadn’t been such a hardass and had let Luke run off and join the Imperial Academy, Luke would’ve met his father and Palpatine a lot sooner and ended up Sith.

“We could almost buy our own ship for that much! Come on, Ben – we don’t have to listen to this!”

Luke says this after Han names his price for shuttling them to Alderaan. Well, Han was trying to fleece them, you know. What would you say if you went to hire a van and a driver to get to Chicago and the guy says, “$10,000”? You would say, “Fuck this guy,” right?

“What a piece of junk!”

This is Luke’s first reaction to seeing the Millennium Falcon. The audience is like, wow! It’s so cool! But what we keep forgetting is the Falcon, to the people in the Star Wars universe, is a tramp freighter. It does look like shit to them. To them it’s as impressive as a U-Haul. A busted up U-Haul. And they just paid through the ass for passage on this thing.

“Why are we still moving towards it!”

This is said when the Falcon is caught in the Death Star’s tractor beam. Okay, check it. I’m riding with a guy who’s been treating me like an idiot. Our car – his fucked up hooptie -- starts heading towards a cliff and the guy is like, don’t worry. Then we start really getting close. I’m not going to point out that he said he had this shit under control?

“Ben Kenobi is a great man!”

Said to Han after the latter calls Ben an “old fossil” behind his back. Why shouldn’t Luke stand up for Ben? Ben is bravely going out on his own to disable the tractor beam that caught Han’s ship. There’s no need to dis.

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