Ranking the Movies

Now that I’ve had a week and a half to think about this, I’d have to rank the Star Wars movies this way:

1. The Empire Strikes Back
   ‘Cause I like Luke and he got his ass kicked in this movie and that was, like, meaningful to me.
   
2. Attack of The Clones
   ‘Cause Yoda fucking kicks ass! And Padme was chill. And watching Anakin advocate dictatorships while on a picnic was amusing. And Obi-Wan is sexy.
   
3. The Phantom Menace
   The more I watch it, the more I dig Qui-Gon Jinn. That’s my kind of Jedi. The man died too soon. The Darth Maul vs. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fight is the second best lightsaber fight on screen. Only Vader vs. Luke in Cloud City is better.
   
4. Revenge of The Sith
   I can’t rank this higher, since it’s sad. It’s not a movie that I want to watch over and over again. I have the same problem with Return of The King.
   
   I didn’t like seeing Jedi that I like -- Mace, Yoda, Kit Fisto -- get owned. And they turned Padme into a big nothing. Palpatine was done well, though as Sidious he’s campy. I thought Obi-Wan was very well-rounded in the movie.
   
5. A New Hope
   I have to rank this next to last because I’ve seen it so many times I want to hurl. And it’s difficult to watch this movie since most of the best parts -- like the scene in Ben’s hut where he tells Luke about his father -- have been totally screwed up by every other movie in the series.
   
6. Return of The Jedi
   This movie bites. The only things I like are the Force Ghosts at the end and the added stuff in the Special Edition with the montage of people partying on various planets and trashing Palpatine's statue. Probably the greatest disappointment for me was that when Vader’s helmet was taken off, the face beneath had no character. Shit, even Joseph Campbell said so! When the “master of myth” says you fucked up, you fucked up. And most importantly, Luke kicked Vader’s ass too easily. Vader threw the fight. Bullshit!