Still No Answers

• Qui-Gon taught Yoda how to become a Force Ghost. Yoda taught Obi-Wan. Who the hell taught Anakin? And why didn’t Qui-Gon’s body disappear?
  
• How come Chewie never mentioned to Luke that he knew Yoda? How come Chewie never mentioned to anyone that he’d fought in the Clone Wars? I’m really starting to think that no one knows what Chewie is saying, they just pretend they do.
  
  Leia: Where did you go after we evacuated Hoth?
  
  Luke: I was in the Dagobah system. I found the last Jedi Master! His name is Yoda, he--
  
  Chewie: Mrrrrgrrr? Wrrrggrr! [Translation: Pardon me -- did you say Yoda? I served with him in the Clone Wars! He helped us fight to save our planet. Oh, the stories I could tell--]
  
  Luke: No thanks, Chewie, I’m not hungry.
  
  Chewie: Grrrrmrrrf! [What? I said I fucking know Yoda!]
  
  Leia: That’s okay, I’m not hungry either.
  
  Chewie (storming off): Hrrrrgrff! [You know what? Fuck it. Let me go fix something.]
  
  Luke: Gosh, he’s so sensitive. I always feel like I'm offending him.
  
  Leia: He means well, but… all that hair in the food. You know what I mean.
  
  Luke: Yeah. Anyway, let me tell you about Yoda...

• If it took nearly twenty years to complete the Death Star, how were they able to keep the plans secret until the project was complete? Tens of thousands of people would’ve had to have worked on that project. That’s a shitload of people and suppliers bound by non-disclosure agreements.
  
• Still no answer to why they didn’t change Luke’s last name. I guess ignoring this problem was the smartest thing to do.
  
• No explanation of how “Obi-Wan” became “Ben.” If they were smart, they could’ve solved this in Episode I. Jar-Jar could’ve found his name difficult to pronounce and said, “Mesa call you ‘Ben’” and the nickname could’ve stuck. Or “Ben” could’ve been what Obi-Wan remembered his mother called him. That would’ve been a nice touch.
  
• It’s interesting that in the OT neither Vader nor Sidious seemed to realize that Yoda had had a hand in Luke’s training. Yet the Emperor knew that Yoda escaped him at the end of Episode III. Both Sith seemed to think Luke had been solely trained by Obi-Wan. I think if they had thought Yoda was involved they would’ve been really concerned.
  
• How come Yoda was the only Jedi who felt a disturbance in the Force when Order 66 was executed? All 10,000 Jedi could not have been attacked at the same time. The speed of communication has to be bound by some laws of physics, right? The order wouldn’t have reached the Outer Rim at the same time it reached Corellia, but I betcha the Force could’ve told a Jedi that thousands of padawans were being killed on Coruscant before his clones turned on him 18 hours later on Ryloth.
  
• What happened to Padme’s ubiquitous handmaidens? Did she fire them all? Since they were around her all the time, they surely would’ve found out she was pregnant pretty early on.
  
• Why would the senate believe that the Jedi had tried to kill Palpatine for no reason? Some effort should’ve been made in the movie to show that public opinion of the Jedi was poor.
  
• Why was the formation of the Rebel Alliance edited from the movie? That’s an important tie-in to Episode IV. How fucking stupid! That would’ve added, what? Three minutes to the movie? Didn't Lord of The Rings and Titanic prove that people will sit still for 3 hours or more if you give them a reason to?
  
  
  And last but not least:
  
  
• We still don’t know the real deal about Palpatine. When he tells Anakin the story of Darth Plagueis, he seems to hint that he, Darth Sidious, may have already lived way beyond a normal human lifespan. If this is so, how did he become senator of Naboo? As a politician, his background would presumably be part of the public record. When he started his career, no one noticed that the new senator was 200 years old but looked like he was 50? And when did he find time to practice to become a Sith Lord? Was that something he did while holding down a regular job?
  
  The most reasonable explanation is that his background was completely faked and as he became more powerful he was able to silence all inquiries into his past. When he first got into politics he could have paid some Sith lackeys to pose as his family or he could have passed himself off as an orphan or an amnesiac. My belief is that at some time in the past, Sidious targeted an aspiring young politician named Palpatine, killed him, assumed his identity, and lived this guy’s life for decades.
  
  I’m cool with not knowing the answer to this last question, though. Some mysteries should be preserved.