How it was supposed to go down

Obviously, the prequels were nothing like what I imagined back when I first saw the OT, but it’s getting harder to remember what I first imagined. I should’ve written it down. Actually, I know did write it down – at least I did so re: my speculations about Return of the Jedi back in 1980 after having seen TESB – but when ROTJ came out I threw it away!

Duh!

I think I was wrong about pretty much everything except that I knew Han would be rescued. No-brainer there. But I did not foresee Death Star II, and I did not guess that Vader would “redeem” himself and turn to the Light. I also thought that “the other” was going to turn out to be Boba Fett, who was going to be not only a Jedi, but Luke’s mom in disguise.

Okay, that’s pretty freaking ridiculous, considering that I knew it was a man under that costume, but I think I read that theory in Starlog and they seemed to know shit.

In my version, Luke and his mom were going to team up and take out Vader and Palpatine. Maybe the parents were going to kill each other. Who knows? I can’t remember. I didn’t foresee the final ground war involving furry primitives either. If anything, I would’ve assumed that the Rebels last stand would’ve involved storming the imperial homeworld, Coruscant. Instead of Ewoks chucking spears at inept stormtroopers on an inconsequential moon in the Rim, I would’ve imagined ordinary citizens pushed to the edge finding the courage to side with the Rebels and storm the palace.

Viva la gente!

Hoo boy! Was I wrong!

So, I got to thinking, when I first heard that the prequels were finally going to be made, what did I assume the movies would depict about the rise of Vader? What did I assume about Obi-Wan? Did I have the presence of mind to write this down, you ask? Hell no!

Duh!

But since it was not that long ago, I can kinda remember that I had the following assumptions about what Anakin Skywalker’s background was gonna be like and how the story was going to play out. Based largely on Ben’s dialogue from Episode IV and VI and Yoda’s dialogue from Episode V, I thought a lot was a given.

I correctly assumed that:

• Anakin was from Tatooine.
• Luke’s mom was going to be something like Princess Leia.
• Anakin displayed Force powers from a young age.
• Anakin and Obi-Wan would clash over the twins’ mom. True, but not the way I imagined it. I assumed they’d clash because of a love triangle.
• Young Obi-Wan would be somewhat arrogant. True, but not the way I imagined it. It’s almost a passive arrogance.

But I was totally wrong about everything else! I assumed that:

• Anakin grew up with Owen.
• Anakin would have a calculating, methodical personality, and possibly be a ladies man.
• Anakin would have “warning sign” bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling or cruelty to animals. False, but fun to think about!
• Anakin would be well-liked by other Jedi.
• Alderaan would figure prominently in the prequels. False. Naboo was the substitute for Alderaan.
• Corellia would figure prominently in the prequels. False. What bullshit!
• Anakin was already an adult, or at least in his late teens, when he met Obi-Wan.
• Anakin was a civilian who got involved in the Clone Wars.
• Anakin was a space pilot, but he also pitched in to help Owen with the moisture farm.
• Anakin was possibly part of a planetary militia and he came to the attention of General Kenobi because of his piloting skills and bravery.
• The clones of the Clone Wars were the bad guys menacing the Republic.
• The Clone Wars was an “idealistic crusade” that Obi-Wan and Anakin volunteered for, but had no true stake in.
• Obi-Wan was a military advisor to Bail Organa.
• Obi-Wan and Anakin were close friends who shared everything.
• Obi-Wan and Anakin were approximately the same age.
• Obi-Wan taught Anakin the ways of the Force without Yoda’s knowledge or permission.
• Anakin went to the Dark Side because it was the easiest way for him to use the Force due to his unorthodox (and late) training.
• Anakin and the twins’ mom weren’t actually married. False. How silly of me! No way could George have let Luke and Leia be bastards!
• The twins’ mom left Anakin, fled to Alderaan with Leia and married Bail Organa. She died not long after.
• Anakin ran off to face the Emperor before he was fully trained and was defeated, converted and turned loose on the Jedi.
• Anakin lost a duel with Obi-Wan and as he lay dying, he asked Obi-Wan to give his son his lightsaber. False. This would’ve been a big plot hole.
• Anakin “died” (i.e. his heart stopped or was he was, ahem, brain dead) after facing Obi-Wan, but the Emperor used his Sith powers to reanimate him.

Hoo boy! Was I wrong!