BSG: Fragged (5)

Callie knows she’s not qualified for this, and even if she were qualified, the person creating the diversion for Crashdown will be killed. Crashdown orders her to move and when she says, “I can’t,” he quickly puts a pistol to her head and says he’ll count to three. At the count of two, Tyrol has his gun out, imploring him to stop. But at the count of three it’s Baltar who shoots Crashdown in the back, killing him.

Everyone is stunned except the Cylons, who couldn’t help but hear the gunshot. They open on their position. Tyrol orders everyone to fall back, but he stops to rip the dog tags off of Crashdown’s neck. Baltar has the presence of mind to pick up Crashdown’s rocket launcher before fleeing after Tyrol with the girls. Number Six appears to him and says, “Now you’re a man.”

Meanwhile, the Raptor is approaching. Tyrol and crew are hauling ass, going for the dish. The medic gets shot and Callie goes back for her, draping her arm over her shoulder and dragging her forward. Tyrol tries to take a shot at the dish and gets shot by the Cylons. The dish swivels around and points at the Raptor. Tyrol yells, “Gimme the launcher!” at Baltar, who exposes himself to fire in order to reach the Chief. Baltar competently covers Tyrol with pistol fire at the Cylons, giving Tyrol a clear shot at the dish, which he takes out.

The Cylons do manage to fire some missiles, but because the dradis was taken out, the missiles fail to lock and sail harmlessly past the Raptor. Tyrol is out in the open and gets shot. Baltar has partial cover behind a tree and he continues firing and protecting the two women. Knowing he can’t reach cover, Tyrol stands up, takes out his pistol and starts firing, fully expecting to get wasted. Suddenly the Cylons blow up and Tyrol looks at his pistol in surprise. Then he notices the Raptor overhead that just nuked the Cylons and saved his ass.

They two women hold Baltar’s hand and they all look like they’re going to burst into tears.

Back on the Galactica, the Quorum of Twelve, escorted by Tigh, approach the brig. Tigh is gleeful. “Viewing time at the zoo!” he cackles.

“I’m glad to see you hold the President in such high esteem,” remarks Tom Zarek.

“Your day is gonna come, moffit boy,” threatens Tigh.

[What the fuck is a “moffit boy”?]

They come into the brig and Laura is sitting staring into space. She doesn’t acknowledge their presence.

They start to get nervous and Tigh says, “Okay, the show’s over. Let’s give her some privacy. Let’s talk about where to proceed from here.”

Then Laura stands.

“Thank you all for coming. I have a statement I would like to make. The attempted military coup against the lawful government of the Colonies is illegal, ill-advised and totally doomed to failure. I have not resigned the presidency. I will fight this action with everything I have.”

Tigh, seeing the situation slipping out of his control says, “She thinks she’s a prophet! Go on – ask her! She thinks the ‘Arrow of Apollo’ will open the Tomb of Artemis.”

“Everything I’ve done has been logical,” Laura says calmly. “We have found Kobol. We have found the City of the Gods. And when we receive the Arrow, we will open the Tomb of Athena and we will find the road to Earth.”

The Gemonese councilor is particularly impressed. “Madame President, have you read the scrolls of Pythia?”

“Carefully and many times. I humbly believe that I am fulfilling the role of the leader.”

Even Tom Zarek looks like he may be buying this.

Tigh has had it. “Enough of this nonsense. Everybody out!”

Zarek doesn’t budge. “Sarah, you represent Gemenon. You know more about the scrolls than any of us.”

“The scrolls tell us that a dying leader will lead us to salvation.”

“She’s not dying!” interrupts Tigh. “She’s crazy!”

“I am dying,” Laura replies. “I have terminal breast cancer. Dr. Cottle will verify the diagnosis. I have a few months to live, and in that time I will lead the people to salvation. It is my sole purpose.”

“Praise be to the gods!” someone says, and the whole Quorum gets down on its knees and reach out their hands for her to touch them.

[Okay, this part I don’t buy. They can’t all be zealots like the Gemonese.]

Tigh knows he’s totally played himself. He has the guards come and usher everyone out. He shoots Laura a look of mingled respect, fear and fury.

The religious corporal comes to Laura after the others have left and she thanks him for his help. He smiles and says, no, thank the gods.

[Have you noticed that Laura has three disciples, all black? Elosha the female priest, the corporal, and the Gemonese councilor. Hmm!]

Back on Kobol, Tyrol gives Lee the dog tags of the three dead men. “A hell of a butcher’s bill,” he says. Then he asks the dreaded question – How did Crashdown die?

Baltar is quick to answer. “Leading the charge. He gave his life for me in the finest tradition of the service.”

Baltar looks at Tyrol pleadingly behind Lee’s back, then Tyrol backs him up. “Yes, he was a hero.”

[Since Baltar looks so anguished, no one is going to question this. Ironically, Baltar was the actual hero in the assault on the dish.]

Number Six shows up and says she’s proud of him. “Because I’ve taken a life?” he says unhappily.

“Well that makes you human,” she says.

“Is that it? It’s not poetry, art, music or literature? It’s murder? Murder is my heritage? Is that the lesson I’m supposed to pass on to my child?”

About this time Lee starts screaming for Baltar to come on and board the ship.

Back on Galactica, Dr. Cottle has a smoke outside the plastic sheet separating the rest of the infirmary from the OR. He tells Tigh that Adama will live and he’ll “wake up when he damn well wants to.”

“I really frakked things up for you, Bill,” Tigh says to the sleeping Adama.

Tigh then further fraks things up by holding a press conference, dissolving the Quorum of Twelve, and declaring martial law because “it’s obvious the government can’t function.”

The episode ends with a huge uproar and the reporters surge forward toward Tigh while the Marines try to hold them back.